The Importance of Kindness

This picture has nothing to do with this post, I just liked it. :) My baby is getting "So Big!"

I have learned SO much over the last few months,and one thing I've been thinking about recently is the importance of kindness.

In the first few weeks following my husband leaving, I was totally shell shocked. In a way I can't even describe. It was all I could do to keep the children fed and cared for and alive. It seemed impossible that the world was just going right along when MY whole world had just crashed down around me. I remember walking through the grocery store and just feeling surreal - how could everything still be so *normal*?! I imagine this is somewhat like people feel when they lose a spouse or loved one suddenly to death - fortunately my husband did not die, but in that time, the sudden-ness of it all and the utter abandonment FELT like the man I had loved and known all those years had died. [Only it was worse because it was voluntary on his part - I remember also thinking that it would have been better if he'd been killed suddenly, from a strictly emotional standpoint, because then it would be something beyond his control - NOT his own choice to leave us and not love us any more].

Anyway, during those first weeks, I was, many times, amazed by the kindness of strangers. I was grief-stricken and barely able to go through the motions of normal life, and there were *countless* instances of people being amazingly kind to me. From the father and children in the grocery store behind me the day I tried to use WIC who were so sweet and kind, to the many, many members of our homeschool group and Church who helped us in so many ways... it was really those small bright shining moments of concern and care that kept me going - quite literally.

One night I had finally gotten the kids to bed and I had not eaten all day - not a bite. I felt physically sick all the time in the weeks after my husband left, and I also did not have TIME to eat many days. I had finally gotten everyone to sleep and I was ravenous. I pulled out a roasted chicken that a *wonderful* lady from our homeschool group had brought me earlier in the day. I was planning to microwave some of the chicken and eat it [with much anticipation] when the phone rang. It was a friend from our homeschool group just calling to check on me. I said hi to her and then turned around just in time to see our lab/husky mix jump up and grab the whole chicken off the counter and run off with it! By the time I got it away from him, he had scarfed down most of it and there was none left fit for human consumption. [And he didn't even have the decency to choke on the chicken bones LOL!].

After a brief moment of angry outburst at the dog, I returned to my phone conversation. My friend asked what happened and I told her. After a few minutes we hung up and I sat down to watch TV - totally giving up on actually eating that day. [I lost 20 pounds in 2 months like that... ].

About 45 minutes later my doorbell rang - I went to answer it and it was my friend, at my door. She had gone to the store and gotten me another roasted chicken, along with a bunch of other groceries and was delivering them! And this was after 9pm and she had her own family at home - it was definitely a sacrifice for her to do such a thing! It was amazing. I just cried after she left.

That was the best chicken I ever ate.

The other thing that strikes me looking back is how many people confided their own personal tragedies to me when I was in the midst of all of this. When they heard what was happening in my life, they suddenly felt comfortable to share the horrible things that were happening in their own. So many people expressed relief to be able to talk to someone about what was happening to them - I really came to realize that most people in our culture DON'T share their pain and misfortune with others - they bear it alone and in silence. [I'm just not able to do that - I am totally "transparent" as one friend said - which isn't always a good thing :( ].

These two things have combined to really make me realize how important it is for us to ALWAYS treat others with kindness. We *never* know what that other person may be going through. We never know when our kind word might be the ONLY thing that keeps that person from blowing their brains out that night. We should always be the hands and heart of Jesus for others - because it may only be through our love that He can reach out to them in their pain.

So, next time you feel like cursing that guy who cuts you off in traffic, pray for him instead. He may have just lost his wife after a long battle with cancer. The next time you are in a hurry at the checkout line and are feeling irritated with the lady in front of you who is taking *forever* - pray for her, maybe even offer some assistance if you are comfortable with it. She may have just found out that her 3 year old has an inoperable brain tumor. The person sitting next to you in the doctor's office that day may be there to get some very bad news. Your coworker may have lost a precious pet yesterday. Maybe not - but who can say for sure?

You just never know - we are all consumed by our own lives and our own little tragedies, but it does not cost us *anything* to be kind to other human beings. We should always take the time to be gracious and loving to those around us.

Sometimes it is strangers who need our kind words and actions the most.

And for all of you, in the "real world" and online, both dear friends and complete strangers, who kept me alive in the weeks after my husband left with your kindness - I thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you for your goodness. And may I always return that favor to every person around me for as long as I live.

[PS - that lab/husky mix is doing much better now. I've definitely been a civilizing influence on him - he's really a good dog now. We had only had him a couple of weeks when the chicken incident happened. Now adays, I'm glad I didn't kill him that night. :) ]