I saw my Perinatologist yesterday and they did a Sonogram on Gamma Ray. She is measuring right on track, except for her head [which is measuring two weeks ahead LOL! My kids ALWAYS have huge heads!]. Everything looked great and they estimate she weighs 3lb8oz already, so I feel good about that - at 29 weeks that is not a bad weight at all.
My new OB that I saw last week was freaked out because I was measuring "quite large", I tried to tell her I've measured like that with all of my more recent babies and that its just that my uterus is probably all stretched out. ;) She was skeptical about that, so I was relieved to see the sono today that showed everything was perfect - baby is right on target, amniotic fluid level was fine, etc.
Anyway, just wanted to update - Gamma Ray is doing great!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Benefits of Having Chickens
OK, this is going to be another chicken post, so feel free to skip it if you are sick of my chicken obsession. LOL!
But we have had so many unexpected benefits from raising chickens, and I was just thinking about this today. When we started this, we really had no idea what we were getting in to - it seemed like a fun thing to do and we were just hoping it was as easy as the people we spoke with told us it was.
We have reaped SO many benefits from this process though! Here are some of the unexpected rewards I've seen from our chicken venture:
1. It has *really* instilled a sense of responsibility and re-enforced a strong work ethic in my children. They are involved in the process of caring for the chickens - from helping me incubate the eggs to feeding every day and helping with watering... they really care for these birds and have been amazingly responsible and enthusiastic about it - even on days when we've been out there caring for the chickens in the pouring rain!
2. It has brought our family closer together and given us a joint venture that we all enjoy - from the 18 month old all the way to my husband - we ALL love caring for the chickens and watching them grow and prosper. Every evening at "chicken time", our whole family goes out there and we feed and water the chickens, check on them, make sure everyone is doing well, and then often we sit and watch them for a while and talk and plan. [If only the mosquitos weren't so accursedly prosperous around here we'd sit and watch them every night].
3. It has been extremely educational, for all of us. From the process of incubating and hatching eggs to raising newborn chicks, to caring for adolescent and adult birds - we have all learned a tremendous amount. In addition, it has been a HUGE teaching opportunity with our kids as they gear up to sell eggs - they have been involved in every step of the process - from helping to decide which hens would be best to raise for eggs, to discussions on feed costs vs profits and achieving maximum feed efficiency, to helping make decisions on how money is spent for construction and buying new birds - they have established their own little business now and they have learned TONS about business and finance. It has been irreplaceable experience that I never expected to get from a few birds!
4. It has also increased their understanding and knowledge about food - the quality of food, where food comes from, why some food is better than other food. Now, we have always done this to some extent through using and discussing organics vs non-organics, etc. But this has taught them in a way far beyond that. It has spurred discussions on the ethics of raising meat and eggs, the potential dangers of "factory farms", the benefits of raising one's own animals and treating them well. It has helped them understand their food choices in a way that I don't think they would have gotten otherwise.
5. It has helped them have a more accurate historical perspective. They understand the work that goes in to maintaining their food animals and that gives them a connection to the past that they would not have otherwise. When we read in "Shades of Gray" about a Virginia family that was facing near starvation in the months after the Civil War [after the soldiers took all their livestock and burned all their fields], my children understand *exactly* how amazing the gift of a basket full of chicks from one neighbor to another was - they know what that really means for the family who received such a gift! I like that.
6) It has given them an opportunity to share the fruits of their labors with others. They feel such *pride* when they take a dozen eggs to a friend or a neighbor as a gift - THEY raised these chickens, cared for them, and they have these eggs to share because of their own efforts - sharing that is an amazing thing for a kid to be able to do!
There are many more benefits I've been contemplating, but the toddler just woke up from her nap, so I guess those will have to wait!
Anyway, I'm so glad we bought some chickens! ;)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
My New OB!!!
We met with the "potential" new OB yesterday and my husband and I both loved her! So, she is now officially my "new OB"! :)
She only sees her own patients, so I won't have to rotate through 8 doctors [when none of them are really paying attention and they are just trying to get through the 90 second appt as fast as possible...]. She does all her own deliveries [and is not scheduled for vacation until well past my due date - woohoo!].
I knew her by reputation as being very proactive in her patients' care and that was definitely affirmed for us yesterday. She took a half hour of her time to go through my history with us and she was SO incredibly kind.
She said that she would like to see me getting the steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs in 2 weeks [at 31 weeks] "just in case" they have to induce before 36 weeks - this makes SO much sense to me, but no doctor before has EVER considered that, even with my crazy OB history!
She seemed very on board with doing an amnio to check lungs at exactly 36 weeks and inducing then, IF we didn't have to induce sooner.
We talked about how I present weird - with no liver troubles & very little protein but with crazy high BPs, especially in the evenings - and she paid careful attention to that.
She seemed very "up to date" on PE and the care of PE patients - something else I've never had. She even asked about whether I'd had underlying disorders testing and was familiar with the MTHFR mutation and was concerned about the "homozygous" aspect [basically I have a mutation that causes funky blood clotting and problems with the placenta & implantation].
She also knows and works well with our Perinatologist and seemed to be 100% on board with his philosophy [which was to induce at 36 weeks if not before if pressures were very high].
I cannot even tell you HOW relieved I am to be in her care. Both my husband and I feel like the weight of the world is lifted and I have a feeling of being "safe" for once - in good hands....
Wow.
Thank you all for your advice on this issue! I am SO glad we decided to meet her!
She only sees her own patients, so I won't have to rotate through 8 doctors [when none of them are really paying attention and they are just trying to get through the 90 second appt as fast as possible...]. She does all her own deliveries [and is not scheduled for vacation until well past my due date - woohoo!].
I knew her by reputation as being very proactive in her patients' care and that was definitely affirmed for us yesterday. She took a half hour of her time to go through my history with us and she was SO incredibly kind.
She said that she would like to see me getting the steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs in 2 weeks [at 31 weeks] "just in case" they have to induce before 36 weeks - this makes SO much sense to me, but no doctor before has EVER considered that, even with my crazy OB history!
She seemed very on board with doing an amnio to check lungs at exactly 36 weeks and inducing then, IF we didn't have to induce sooner.
We talked about how I present weird - with no liver troubles & very little protein but with crazy high BPs, especially in the evenings - and she paid careful attention to that.
She seemed very "up to date" on PE and the care of PE patients - something else I've never had. She even asked about whether I'd had underlying disorders testing and was familiar with the MTHFR mutation and was concerned about the "homozygous" aspect [basically I have a mutation that causes funky blood clotting and problems with the placenta & implantation].
She also knows and works well with our Perinatologist and seemed to be 100% on board with his philosophy [which was to induce at 36 weeks if not before if pressures were very high].
I cannot even tell you HOW relieved I am to be in her care. Both my husband and I feel like the weight of the world is lifted and I have a feeling of being "safe" for once - in good hands....
Wow.
Thank you all for your advice on this issue! I am SO glad we decided to meet her!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Fathers
The family, as the basic building block of Moral Society, is under attack and is being successfully destroyed.
If you don't agree with this statement, you probably don't need to waste any more of your time reading this particular post. :)
This is something I've meditated on quite a bit in the last year. I have obvious personal interest in this subject, considering all we went through last fall. But I've come to some conclusions I'd like to share.
The Devil [Satan - yes, Old Scratch Himself] is attacking our families. [And if you don't believe the Devil is real, you probably also might not love this post LOL!] He has found a sure way to destabilize that unit that most helps us to be good, moral, and Holy individuals.
How is this, you say?
I have become convinced through the last year that destroying the family is the Devil's first priority, his most successful ploy in modern times, and he is doing this primarily through attacking Fathers.
Fathers are in crisis in our society. At worst, they are there being abusive or, often, aren't there at all. At best, they deal with a culture that devalues their role as Husbands, Fathers, and MEN and they struggle to be the Men they want to be. Pardon my choice of words, but modern culture Castrates men and tries to feminize them. It devalues their traditional roles as protectors and providers and heads of their households, and fails to give them any useful role in exchange.
Thus we have a whole generation of men who are just plain Lost in astounding numbers.
I am, fortunately, surrounded by strong Christian men. Every man we know and see on a regular basis has a strong Christian belief system to support him in his role as husband and father. Most of them are extremely committed to their wives and families and work very, very hard to be the Men God intends them to be.
In my personal biased opinion, I consider these men to be the "Cream of the Crop" and the most exceptional Men around at this time in history.
And yet... even among these Christian families we know, Satan is working his Evil with tremendous success.
Those of you who have been reading a while know this, but for those who may be "new" to my blog, let me share that last fall our family fell apart when my husband had a major mental health breakdown and abandoned the family for several months. We were extremely fortunate that his problems were medication related and once that harmful medication was discontinued, he reverted back to his normal wonderful self and came home... but the experience was, of course, completely devastating.
At the time this all happened, I was very open about it - I shared honestly with our friends and acquaintances. Partly that was because of who I am - I'm a "transparent" type person in general - but it was also unavoidable because of the way in which my husband left - it was a spectacular abandonment and there really was no way to hide it even if I had been so inclined. So, our tragedy became common knowledge to those around us, even though it was completely humiliating for me at the time. [Believe me when I say no woman wants to have the world know that the man she adores abandoned her with 5 children... LOL!]
There has been an interesting result from this though. Over the past 9 months, many women have come to me to talk to me confidentially about their own situations, seeking support and understanding [which I hope they have found in me]. I have discovered that my situation is more common BY FAR than any would believe possible - even in "very good" families. I've been approached by acquaintances and by total strangers who just "heard" about my situation through a friend of a friend.... I've had people send their own friends my way who needed to talk to someone who could understand. [Because if you have NOT experienced something like this, you really *can't* understand just how painful and devastating it is - though I still hope you would try. ;) ]
Usually when things like this happen, they aren't discussed. *Especially* if they involve mental illness - people want to hide it. But I don't think that is really helpful because it leaves those who ARE affected by it feeling like the only people in the world in such a situation [I know that is definitely how I felt at the time I went through this] and the truth is SO FAR from that - this is quite a common thing.
I have heard stories that could be my own the details are so similar. I've heard other stories of husbands abandoning their wives and children to run off with some wild woman they picked up. I've heard stories of men who seemed devoted and wonderful who just suddenly, inexplicably, decided that this wasn't what they wanted and they abandon wives and children just to walk away - to seek out something "different".
It is disturbing to me how common this is.
Satan is winning this battle for the Souls of our Men.
We need to pray for them - to pray for ALL fathers. Our Men are struggling in this culture - they struggle against pornography and immodesty and temptation every where they turn; against the Corporate culture that devalues their role in the family; against materialism that makes them always feel they aren't earning "enough" no matter how much they earn; against a culture at large that now views the hard working family man as "quaint" at best and ridiculous at worst.
There is another category of men who do everything "right" and still face terrible things - men who are hard working and can't seem to get a break in their career [or, worse yet, who are persecuted in their career in quiet and sneaky ways because of their religious beliefs]; men who are plagued with poor physical health and illness that cripples their ability to be the Men they want to be; and there are men who just seem to struggle against plain old bad luck despite their best efforts and good intentions.
These men may wake up every day determined to fight the good fight and to do the right thing, and MANY of them succeed. But it is not an easy fight, even for those who are winning. Satan is strong and our culture is SO steeped in Satan's values that this war rages without end and without mercy.
And children are the biggest casualties.
We are taught to call God "Father". It is a term that is meant to instill peace and love and a feeling of being Protected and Cherished in each and every one of us.
For too many children, the name "Father" comes to mean something altogether different.
If we lose the Fathers to Satan, too often the children follow. [Not always - certainly there are plenty of amazing mothers who hold their children dear and help them navigate these treacherous waters]. But losing a father is always damaging - ALWAYS. The best we mothers can do in that situation is try to minimize the devastation.
So, I ask all of you who read this blog, to please, please don't forget to pray for Fathers. For their strength and their perseverance in the Culture War they are so much a part of - though often unaware.
Make Sacrifices for them and do all you can to bolster and support the Good Men in your life who are trying so hard to do what is Right, instead of what is Easy.
And if you are a woman who is blessed with a man who is just perfect [in your eyes at least!], pray for him too. Don't think he is beyond Satan's reach - pray for him and sacrifice for him. 5 years ago I never would have dreamed of the tragedies that were about to reach our family - you are NEVER safe from Satan's grasp and your complacency can be a big advantage for Old Scratch.
Pray and Trust in God. There is where Hope lies.
And now, for something a bit lighter - if you need a laugh, check out:
Brad Paisley's "I'm Still A Guy"
Thursday, July 17, 2008
OB Trouble?!!
I had an OB appt yesterday and I'm starting to feel worried.
I'm 28 weeks today and this is the Ob practice that delivered my #2,3 & 4 babies, but not the last baby [NOT the docs who almost killed me in other words!]
However, with the births we did have with this practice, we had a terrible problem with inconsistency of care -my OB and one other OB were cautiously proactive in treating Preeclampsia [which we liked], one of the other docs was WAY overboard on it [wanted to schedule a C-section at 36 weeks], and the others just seemed to not be proactive at all. On several occasions things happened like us going in on a Tuesday and being told by one doctor I needed to be hospitalized immediately - but he agreed to let me wait till Friday so we could make child care arrangements. Then on Friday we came in and saw a different doctor who did a cervix check and said "Well, I'm not sending you over for an induction because I can't find your cervix, so I'm sending you home". Or like on Tuesday seeing a doc who said I needed a scheduled C-section at 36 weeks because I was getting so bad and then on Friday seeing a different doc who thought I wasn't bad at all and needed to "stop worrying" and everything would be "OK".
So, when we decided to go back to this practice, we set up a meeting with my OB and he agreed that we could just see him for the whole pregnancy and he would manage my care himself - which I felt comfortable with. And he is the only doc I've seen this whole time.
Then yesterday, he says I have to see the two new doctors they've just added to their practice - and I'll be seeing them at 31 and 33 weeks [this is usually when things start to go south for me and this is when I MOST need my OB that I trust....] I was really unhappy with that.
In addition, I just don't think this guy is paying attention. At every single visit he has asked me "So, are you planning any more children after this one? What do you plan to do to prevent this from happening again?" and then he launches into a sales pitch for this new scary birth control device thing called "Essure" - they go up into your fallopian tubes and put a screw-like device in each tube that cause damage to the tube and scars you all up and basically causes the tube to scar closed - and they do this *in the office* with no anesthesia!!!! Also, it is brand new and a certain percentage of women who have it done have it migrate outside the tubes and damage other parts of the body... and several other creepy side effects. Ummmm....yeah - let me just sign right up for THAT! :(
I have declined this over and over. He must make a fortune for doing this office procedure because he won't let it drop. I have also gone over it every single time with him that I have strong religious objections to artificial birth control and I'm *not interested* and he either is ignoring that or quite honestly has no idea who I am.
So yesterday, my BP was up [as expected at this point really - not massive high, but 140/80something high] and he didn't even mention that or discuss anything about it. Instead he launches into "Well, Kelly, this is your sixth baby. Are you planning to have any more after this?" "Um...no?" "Well, what are you planning to do to keep this
from happening again....?" I just sat there staring at him and wanting to scream. I was like "Are you KIDDING ME?!!!" We've had about 10 visits now and he *really* doesn't remember going over all this with me at every.single.visit?!!!!
Then he tells me I have to see the new docs instead of him next visit...
How do I trust my care to this guy? I mean really - I feel like a total COW that he is moving in and out of the office as quickly as possible without even being familiar with the chart - just trying to get in his sales routine for birth control... that seems to be all he cares about AT ALL. And I don't feel respected since he's ignoring my religious beliefs.
There is another doc I have been trying to get in with for years now but she has always refused to take our specific insurance. I called yesterday and was told that YES! She is finally seeing Aetna patients again and is willing to see me. I would *never* recommend her to a "normal, healthy" mother [because they routinely induce ALL patients at 37 weeks and have an astronomical Cesearean rate], but she has managed the care of two of my Lamaze students who got Preeclampsia and she is VERY proactive with it - she does NOT take any chances. I think that is really the kind of doctor I need in my situation. I am trying to set up an appt to consult with her for next week...
I hate changing this late, it is so scary. But I just feel so frustrated - you'd think after almost dying last time and having an Eclamptic seizure and brain damage documented in my chart, they would at least be paying attention...
What do you guys think? would you switch at this point?
I'm 28 weeks today and this is the Ob practice that delivered my #2,3 & 4 babies, but not the last baby [NOT the docs who almost killed me in other words!]
However, with the births we did have with this practice, we had a terrible problem with inconsistency of care -my OB and one other OB were cautiously proactive in treating Preeclampsia [which we liked], one of the other docs was WAY overboard on it [wanted to schedule a C-section at 36 weeks], and the others just seemed to not be proactive at all. On several occasions things happened like us going in on a Tuesday and being told by one doctor I needed to be hospitalized immediately - but he agreed to let me wait till Friday so we could make child care arrangements. Then on Friday we came in and saw a different doctor who did a cervix check and said "Well, I'm not sending you over for an induction because I can't find your cervix, so I'm sending you home". Or like on Tuesday seeing a doc who said I needed a scheduled C-section at 36 weeks because I was getting so bad and then on Friday seeing a different doc who thought I wasn't bad at all and needed to "stop worrying" and everything would be "OK".
So, when we decided to go back to this practice, we set up a meeting with my OB and he agreed that we could just see him for the whole pregnancy and he would manage my care himself - which I felt comfortable with. And he is the only doc I've seen this whole time.
Then yesterday, he says I have to see the two new doctors they've just added to their practice - and I'll be seeing them at 31 and 33 weeks [this is usually when things start to go south for me and this is when I MOST need my OB that I trust....] I was really unhappy with that.
In addition, I just don't think this guy is paying attention. At every single visit he has asked me "So, are you planning any more children after this one? What do you plan to do to prevent this from happening again?" and then he launches into a sales pitch for this new scary birth control device thing called "Essure" - they go up into your fallopian tubes and put a screw-like device in each tube that cause damage to the tube and scars you all up and basically causes the tube to scar closed - and they do this *in the office* with no anesthesia!!!! Also, it is brand new and a certain percentage of women who have it done have it migrate outside the tubes and damage other parts of the body... and several other creepy side effects. Ummmm....yeah - let me just sign right up for THAT! :(
I have declined this over and over. He must make a fortune for doing this office procedure because he won't let it drop. I have also gone over it every single time with him that I have strong religious objections to artificial birth control and I'm *not interested* and he either is ignoring that or quite honestly has no idea who I am.
So yesterday, my BP was up [as expected at this point really - not massive high, but 140/80something high] and he didn't even mention that or discuss anything about it. Instead he launches into "Well, Kelly, this is your sixth baby. Are you planning to have any more after this?" "Um...no?" "Well, what are you planning to do to keep this
from happening again....?" I just sat there staring at him and wanting to scream. I was like "Are you KIDDING ME?!!!" We've had about 10 visits now and he *really* doesn't remember going over all this with me at every.single.visit?!!!!
Then he tells me I have to see the new docs instead of him next visit...
How do I trust my care to this guy? I mean really - I feel like a total COW that he is moving in and out of the office as quickly as possible without even being familiar with the chart - just trying to get in his sales routine for birth control... that seems to be all he cares about AT ALL. And I don't feel respected since he's ignoring my religious beliefs.
There is another doc I have been trying to get in with for years now but she has always refused to take our specific insurance. I called yesterday and was told that YES! She is finally seeing Aetna patients again and is willing to see me. I would *never* recommend her to a "normal, healthy" mother [because they routinely induce ALL patients at 37 weeks and have an astronomical Cesearean rate], but she has managed the care of two of my Lamaze students who got Preeclampsia and she is VERY proactive with it - she does NOT take any chances. I think that is really the kind of doctor I need in my situation. I am trying to set up an appt to consult with her for next week...
I hate changing this late, it is so scary. But I just feel so frustrated - you'd think after almost dying last time and having an Eclamptic seizure and brain damage documented in my chart, they would at least be paying attention...
What do you guys think? would you switch at this point?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Exhaustion
I originally posted this last week, and then I pulled the post because I thought it was too negative and whiny. ;) But, after thinking about it, I really want this blog to be "genuine" - to be honest and real. And, there are days when I am NOT all perky, happy, and shiny. Part of why I keep this blog up is for my kids, so if something does happen to me with this birth, they will have a way to know their mom when they are adults and to know about our life together. [Nothing bad will happen with the birth, but just in case....LOL!]. So, I feel like I need to be "real" here, so I'm putting my whiny, tired, scared post back up. Feel free to skip it if you want. ;)
Did you ever read about those Saints who lived on no food except the Eucharist for many, many years?
I am no Saint [with a Big S or a little s], unfortunately, but I do have a "Super Power".
I don't sleep. I never get to sleep. And yet I live.
My first 2 children were nightmare sleepers - my oldest didn't sleep through a single night of her life until she was 7 years old [I am NOT kidding] and she still occasionally wakes up at night. Kid #2 was even worse, for the first 18 months of his life, he woke every 37 minutes exactly. [I'm serious - it was bizarre]. We took him to doctors, Chiropractors... anything we could think of. He finally did outgrow that, and he started sleeping through the night when he was about 4.
Monkey3 was much better than the two others and only woke a few times at night and slept through the night by the time she was 2, but at that point I had her two older siblings waking up Tag-Team all night so it didn't help me much.
Monkey4 was Pure Mercy from God. She slept 20 hours a day as a newborn and by 6 weeks she slept 8 hours at night [and oddly enough, she was the first baby I drank ANY caffeine with either while pregnant or nursing...I was drinking caffeine like crazy when pregnant with her because I never got sleep and had to care for the other 3]. She started waking more as she got teeth, but she was never a hideous nightwaker like the monkeys that came before her. She slept through the night most nights by the time she was 18 months old and she's a great sleeper still.
And now we have Monkey5 - The Worst Sleeper Ever. She makes my other kids look like lazy lay abouts. Very rarely, we will have an exceptional night, where she will only wake 5 or 6 times. Most nights she wakes two or more times every hour, and when she's sick or teething, she will wake every 10-15 minutes around the clock. She will also fairly frequently sleep a half hour or so and then wake up and stay up till 1 or 2am ... [2 of my other kids wake up for the day by 5-5:30 am - because they are insane - and that is when my days start]
Right now Monkey5 is both sick AND teething. I bet I didn't sleep 10 minutes at one time all night last night. AND she's combative when she's in pain - so not only did she keep waking up screaming all night long, but she kept waking up *attacking* me - biting, pinching, scratching... like some rabid wild animal.
I've been trying to wean her for months now. She is the most determined nurser I've ever dealt with. My husband has been trying to get her back to sleep when she wakes up, but she demands ME - she screamed for more than 2 hours the other night while he held her in another room to try to get her back to sleep so I could rest. [Of course, I couldn't rest with her screaming, our house is NOT sound proof]. He's the one who gets her to sleep every night to start with, but once she wakes up, it MUST be me.
I have never used "Cry It Out" with any of my kids, but I'm not opposed to the idea at this desperate point with this child - I just don't think it will work. She's *SO* insanely determined to get what she wants [ME, all night, every night].
I am scared to death of when this baby gets here - I really don't know how I'm alive right now as it is [let's just say I drink more caffeine than any pregnant woman should at this point]. My husband alleges that I died several years ago and only the caffeine is keeping my corpse animated... LOL!
Not only am I physically exhausted from not sleeping in ... years... but I'm emotionally and spiritually exhausted too.
I never get a break - never. And I hate to complain, because SO many people are worse off than I am. But it really is starting to get to me.
Because of my husband's instability, I can't leave the kids with him. Ever. When he's doing well, he is an amazing, fantastic father, he really is. But that can change so quickly and dramatically that I can't leave even for a one hour doctor's appointment. [And since I have TONS of doc appts right now with the high risk pregnancy, that in and of itself is becoming a serious stressor].
Thus, I never get a moment's break. I am on call, literally, 24/7. It never stops, and I don't even get to "recharge" with sleep. I can never have coffee with a friend, or attend a Bible Study, or go to "Mother's Night Out" with the homeschool group, or spend "one on one time" with any of my children. It is me and the Monkey Hoard no matter where I have to go or what I have to do.
I really miss scrapbooking. That's my only hobby, and I feel it is a service to the family too, because we ALL enjoy the albums. I used to get to go 1 or 2 times a year to do scrapbooking... not any more.
With 5 young kids it is hard to talk on the phone, so there is no socializing that way. I can barely make calls for doctor's appts and such, let alone talk to a friend. It is hard to be an extrovert in this situation.
I feel very, very isolated.
I am also scared to death about what is going to happen if I have to go on bedrest or into the hospital in a few weeks [statistically, based on past pregnancies, I'll probably be on bedrest in about 3-5 weeks]. I have no idea what we will do if that happens because our support system has just basically fallen apart over the last 18 months.
And spiritually, this is killing me. I used to always have an hour of Adoration each week in the middle of the night, and it really helped me stay on the straight and narrow with God - it helped me stay connected to Him really and focused on what I should be doing. I've had to give that up, because the baby wakes all night long and DH can't be left to care for her [he doesn't handle middle of the night wakes up well even at his best]. My spiritual life has really suffered - gone into the toilet really - since I had to give up Adoration. I have tried taking the children with me [like today we went at 9am], but it always turns into a nightmare with the smaller kids and it is never a good experience unfortunately.
I have never been a "Me" kind of person - I really enjoy taking care of others, and especially caring for my family. But the years without end...with no break in sight... it is getting me down a bit right now. I think this is mostly because I am feeling so worried about when the new baby arrives and how I will possibly cope with a newborn when I already feel so overwhelmed...
So I am praying. A lot. And begging God's help to "Suck it Up" and drive on. [Hey, it DOES give me a lot to offer up for others and there are a couple of families I know and love who really could use these sacrifices right now].
I am also realizing that in about 14 months I will cross the hump - at that point my oldest child will be able to babysit the others [with pay of course - I'm not going to be a mom who dumps all my kids on my poor oldest! LOL!] while I run to the doctor or take the baby in for her vaccines. That will make a HUGE difference in my life.
So, I am trying to bear these things patiently and trying to turn them for good - in offering them up. Some days I succeed and some days I fail. Today I am failing because I am feeling a tiny bit sorry for myself, which I'm sure negates all the Graces I *could* be earning here bearing this Valiantly and offering it up for others.
Today I just feel so tired...
Did you ever read about those Saints who lived on no food except the Eucharist for many, many years?
I am no Saint [with a Big S or a little s], unfortunately, but I do have a "Super Power".
I don't sleep. I never get to sleep. And yet I live.
My first 2 children were nightmare sleepers - my oldest didn't sleep through a single night of her life until she was 7 years old [I am NOT kidding] and she still occasionally wakes up at night. Kid #2 was even worse, for the first 18 months of his life, he woke every 37 minutes exactly. [I'm serious - it was bizarre]. We took him to doctors, Chiropractors... anything we could think of. He finally did outgrow that, and he started sleeping through the night when he was about 4.
Monkey3 was much better than the two others and only woke a few times at night and slept through the night by the time she was 2, but at that point I had her two older siblings waking up Tag-Team all night so it didn't help me much.
Monkey4 was Pure Mercy from God. She slept 20 hours a day as a newborn and by 6 weeks she slept 8 hours at night [and oddly enough, she was the first baby I drank ANY caffeine with either while pregnant or nursing...I was drinking caffeine like crazy when pregnant with her because I never got sleep and had to care for the other 3]. She started waking more as she got teeth, but she was never a hideous nightwaker like the monkeys that came before her. She slept through the night most nights by the time she was 18 months old and she's a great sleeper still.
And now we have Monkey5 - The Worst Sleeper Ever. She makes my other kids look like lazy lay abouts. Very rarely, we will have an exceptional night, where she will only wake 5 or 6 times. Most nights she wakes two or more times every hour, and when she's sick or teething, she will wake every 10-15 minutes around the clock. She will also fairly frequently sleep a half hour or so and then wake up and stay up till 1 or 2am ... [2 of my other kids wake up for the day by 5-5:30 am - because they are insane - and that is when my days start]
Right now Monkey5 is both sick AND teething. I bet I didn't sleep 10 minutes at one time all night last night. AND she's combative when she's in pain - so not only did she keep waking up screaming all night long, but she kept waking up *attacking* me - biting, pinching, scratching... like some rabid wild animal.
I've been trying to wean her for months now. She is the most determined nurser I've ever dealt with. My husband has been trying to get her back to sleep when she wakes up, but she demands ME - she screamed for more than 2 hours the other night while he held her in another room to try to get her back to sleep so I could rest. [Of course, I couldn't rest with her screaming, our house is NOT sound proof]. He's the one who gets her to sleep every night to start with, but once she wakes up, it MUST be me.
I have never used "Cry It Out" with any of my kids, but I'm not opposed to the idea at this desperate point with this child - I just don't think it will work. She's *SO* insanely determined to get what she wants [ME, all night, every night].
I am scared to death of when this baby gets here - I really don't know how I'm alive right now as it is [let's just say I drink more caffeine than any pregnant woman should at this point]. My husband alleges that I died several years ago and only the caffeine is keeping my corpse animated... LOL!
Not only am I physically exhausted from not sleeping in ... years... but I'm emotionally and spiritually exhausted too.
I never get a break - never. And I hate to complain, because SO many people are worse off than I am. But it really is starting to get to me.
Because of my husband's instability, I can't leave the kids with him. Ever. When he's doing well, he is an amazing, fantastic father, he really is. But that can change so quickly and dramatically that I can't leave even for a one hour doctor's appointment. [And since I have TONS of doc appts right now with the high risk pregnancy, that in and of itself is becoming a serious stressor].
Thus, I never get a moment's break. I am on call, literally, 24/7. It never stops, and I don't even get to "recharge" with sleep. I can never have coffee with a friend, or attend a Bible Study, or go to "Mother's Night Out" with the homeschool group, or spend "one on one time" with any of my children. It is me and the Monkey Hoard no matter where I have to go or what I have to do.
I really miss scrapbooking. That's my only hobby, and I feel it is a service to the family too, because we ALL enjoy the albums. I used to get to go 1 or 2 times a year to do scrapbooking... not any more.
With 5 young kids it is hard to talk on the phone, so there is no socializing that way. I can barely make calls for doctor's appts and such, let alone talk to a friend. It is hard to be an extrovert in this situation.
I feel very, very isolated.
I am also scared to death about what is going to happen if I have to go on bedrest or into the hospital in a few weeks [statistically, based on past pregnancies, I'll probably be on bedrest in about 3-5 weeks]. I have no idea what we will do if that happens because our support system has just basically fallen apart over the last 18 months.
And spiritually, this is killing me. I used to always have an hour of Adoration each week in the middle of the night, and it really helped me stay on the straight and narrow with God - it helped me stay connected to Him really and focused on what I should be doing. I've had to give that up, because the baby wakes all night long and DH can't be left to care for her [he doesn't handle middle of the night wakes up well even at his best]. My spiritual life has really suffered - gone into the toilet really - since I had to give up Adoration. I have tried taking the children with me [like today we went at 9am], but it always turns into a nightmare with the smaller kids and it is never a good experience unfortunately.
I have never been a "Me" kind of person - I really enjoy taking care of others, and especially caring for my family. But the years without end...with no break in sight... it is getting me down a bit right now. I think this is mostly because I am feeling so worried about when the new baby arrives and how I will possibly cope with a newborn when I already feel so overwhelmed...
So I am praying. A lot. And begging God's help to "Suck it Up" and drive on. [Hey, it DOES give me a lot to offer up for others and there are a couple of families I know and love who really could use these sacrifices right now].
I am also realizing that in about 14 months I will cross the hump - at that point my oldest child will be able to babysit the others [with pay of course - I'm not going to be a mom who dumps all my kids on my poor oldest! LOL!] while I run to the doctor or take the baby in for her vaccines. That will make a HUGE difference in my life.
So, I am trying to bear these things patiently and trying to turn them for good - in offering them up. Some days I succeed and some days I fail. Today I am failing because I am feeling a tiny bit sorry for myself, which I'm sure negates all the Graces I *could* be earning here bearing this Valiantly and offering it up for others.
Today I just feel so tired...
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Chickens and Gardens
I wanted to update with some pics and info on the garden we planted and our new chicken housing arrangement.
Here is the garden - you can see from Monkey1 standing in front of it that it has gotten VERY tall [thanks to our recent monsoons I guess LOL!]. So, despite our dog's best efforts, we are still actually going to get something out of most of those squares we planted [he did manage to destroy 4 of them permanently, but we still have 8!]
Here is our chicken set up. We spent a bunch of time today working on it and getting a big huge waterproof tarp over the chicken run with the chicks in it.
We haven't had a problem with having them out of doors like they are until this past week when it rained every single day with these massive thunder storms and their whole run became one big quagmire of mud and muck!
So, we cleaned everything up and put down fresh pine bedding through the whole thing and put a heavy duty industrial tarp over about 80% of the run. We put down a platform [an overturned square foot garden planter] and then put their dog crate coops on top of that [this is where they sleep and we wanted to get it up out of the mud].
We have two little chicks [around 6 weeks] in one crate and they stay in there with that locked. They are the remaining blue andalusian and brown leghorn chick. [I sold the other 8 of them because they are psycho chicks!]. Then we have a bigger crate next to it that stays open where the older chicks [around 11 weeks] sleep at night.
This shows the whole set up:
The little blue play house is now our hen house and that is where our 6 adult laying hens live. The younger girl chicks will go to live with the older hens in the hen house when they are older [right now they are too little and the hens might hurt them or pick on them excessively]. At that point, we hope to actually make the chicken run part of the hen house by putting a little chicken door in the hen house that opens into the run so they can come and go as they please and just be shut up at night.
For now, we just let them out to free range for a while each day. And to watch them - they are fun to watch!
Here is "Nugget", our favorite chick, who is almost certainly a rooster :(. He is really pretty though and we are enjoying him for now. When he learns to crow, he's going to go to a new home... unless he's very, very quiet about it LOL!
Today was the 11 week old chicks first time out of the chicken run free ranging and they had so much fun. It was neat to watch them. They are a pretty little flock.
We did have one tragedy today that was really sad. "Grey Head", one of the other 11 week old Ameraucana chicks [also a rooster] was killed. It was very upsetting. He was a very sweet and tame chick and, unfortunately, it happened right in front of the kids. I had all the chicks out free ranging while we were setting up their new home and I had to run into the house to get their feeders and waterers I'd just bleached and sterilized. I heard my son screaming his head off... I ran out to find that the square foot garden planter, which we had set up on edge so we could put bedding down underneath it had fallen over. It is really heavy, but this would not be a big deal ... except that a certain Monkey disobeyed their mother and had put Grey Head back in the run... and of course he was hit by the falling planter and killed instantly.
It was most upsetting. I do have to say that I was grateful that death was instant and I didn't have to put the poor guy down, but I was crying. Isn't that silly? Most of our roosters are going to a friend who is going to eat them in a few weeks, and that doesn't bother me at all. But this was just so unexpected... and the kids were devastated.
Ah well, RIP Grey Head. It makes me feel better to know he was well cared for and adored for his whole short life.
Here is the garden - you can see from Monkey1 standing in front of it that it has gotten VERY tall [thanks to our recent monsoons I guess LOL!]. So, despite our dog's best efforts, we are still actually going to get something out of most of those squares we planted [he did manage to destroy 4 of them permanently, but we still have 8!]
Here is our chicken set up. We spent a bunch of time today working on it and getting a big huge waterproof tarp over the chicken run with the chicks in it.
We haven't had a problem with having them out of doors like they are until this past week when it rained every single day with these massive thunder storms and their whole run became one big quagmire of mud and muck!
So, we cleaned everything up and put down fresh pine bedding through the whole thing and put a heavy duty industrial tarp over about 80% of the run. We put down a platform [an overturned square foot garden planter] and then put their dog crate coops on top of that [this is where they sleep and we wanted to get it up out of the mud].
We have two little chicks [around 6 weeks] in one crate and they stay in there with that locked. They are the remaining blue andalusian and brown leghorn chick. [I sold the other 8 of them because they are psycho chicks!]. Then we have a bigger crate next to it that stays open where the older chicks [around 11 weeks] sleep at night.
This shows the whole set up:
The little blue play house is now our hen house and that is where our 6 adult laying hens live. The younger girl chicks will go to live with the older hens in the hen house when they are older [right now they are too little and the hens might hurt them or pick on them excessively]. At that point, we hope to actually make the chicken run part of the hen house by putting a little chicken door in the hen house that opens into the run so they can come and go as they please and just be shut up at night.
For now, we just let them out to free range for a while each day. And to watch them - they are fun to watch!
Here is "Nugget", our favorite chick, who is almost certainly a rooster :(. He is really pretty though and we are enjoying him for now. When he learns to crow, he's going to go to a new home... unless he's very, very quiet about it LOL!
Today was the 11 week old chicks first time out of the chicken run free ranging and they had so much fun. It was neat to watch them. They are a pretty little flock.
We did have one tragedy today that was really sad. "Grey Head", one of the other 11 week old Ameraucana chicks [also a rooster] was killed. It was very upsetting. He was a very sweet and tame chick and, unfortunately, it happened right in front of the kids. I had all the chicks out free ranging while we were setting up their new home and I had to run into the house to get their feeders and waterers I'd just bleached and sterilized. I heard my son screaming his head off... I ran out to find that the square foot garden planter, which we had set up on edge so we could put bedding down underneath it had fallen over. It is really heavy, but this would not be a big deal ... except that a certain Monkey disobeyed their mother and had put Grey Head back in the run... and of course he was hit by the falling planter and killed instantly.
It was most upsetting. I do have to say that I was grateful that death was instant and I didn't have to put the poor guy down, but I was crying. Isn't that silly? Most of our roosters are going to a friend who is going to eat them in a few weeks, and that doesn't bother me at all. But this was just so unexpected... and the kids were devastated.
Ah well, RIP Grey Head. It makes me feel better to know he was well cared for and adored for his whole short life.
We Don't Need No Stinkin' TV!!!!
Ah, the on-going TV saga. You guys that have been reading a while will remember that back before Easter one of my darling children destroyed our TV. We decided not to replace it, and I have been 100% happy with that decision - I never missed it, which I wouldn't have dreamed was possible before it went bye-bye! LOL!
Well, DH apparently isn't doing as well with it as I am. He hadn't said anything about it and had agreed that the children's behavior was SOOOOO much better without it [no kidding!!!!]. I thought we had agreed to just not replace it.
Then a few weeks back he came home all excited because a co-worker had offered to sell him her old TV [she recently won a brand new one apparently]. She said it was a 44inch plasma TV and was willing to sell it to him, as a friend and coworker, at $100. Which was, indeed, a very good deal for a plasma TV.
So, he drove to her home a couple of Saturdays back - a good long drive in and of itself - and got there to pick it up, only to find that she hadn't unpacked it from her "Pod" storage container yet. So, he had to spend the entire morning helping her unload this container [because, of course, the TV was in the very back]. She was having a yard sale at the same time and it took quite a long time because she kept having to go do other stuff - he was there for more than 3 hours.
So, finally they get to the back of the container, and he sees the TV and realizes it is NOT a plasma TV - it is an old "big screen" rear projection TV - at least 5 years old. Not high definition or anything else he was expecting. AND, the thing weighs several hundred pounds [it is one of those old monsters that has the big wood base and stands almost 6 feet high - it is a hulking monstrosity truly LOL!] He was very disappointed [and I was a little frustrated - $100 was a great deal for a plasma TV, but not so great for a 5+ year old rear projection TV at the end of its life....].
But, he decided to go ahead and buy it anyway [having invested several hours of back breaking labor at this point]. So he paid her, loaded the monster up, and brought it home.
To a less than pleased me - this thing took up half of the wall in our living room [NOT the "minimizing" of TV that I wanted] and I had to help move the thing into our house, pregnant and all! I was quite prickly by the end of it all. LOL!
The kids went nuts with excitement though - every kid's dream right - a TV bigger than all of them put together!!! And they proceeded to beg and whine and plead to watch TV the rest of the day and to play video games on the TV the rest of the day.
I thought the TV was less than impressive too, because though it is HUGE, the picture was blurry and grainy and quite terrible IMO. The sound was weird too.
Two hours after it came I was seeing some of the old bad behaviors again from the kids too - which I pointed out to DH and he agreed!
So, I decided to be "Nazi Mommy" and I made a rule that they could only watch the TV AT ALL on weekends. It would not come on during the week. That first Monday, they all tried to whine and get TV, but I was having none of it. It went fine from then on, until the next Saturday when then wanted to watch TV again all day and fight whenever I turned the TV off....*sigh*
I was very convinced that this was a bad thing.
Then, low and behold, Monday night while my husband was watching the TV [after the kids were in bed], the stupid thing died. It is completely toast - he's been working on it all week trying to get it fixed and scouring the net for info on repairing it, but to no avail.
So, we paid $100 and HOURS of his work [plus his back was "out" and excruciating for days afterwards too] for an old monster TV that worked for exactly 9 days.
Now, personally, I took this as a sign from God. LOL! We DON'T need no stinkin TV!
But, alas, my husband is mourning this stupid TV and feels very strongly now all of a sudden that he MUST have TV or he will die.
*Sigh*
So, I guess we are destined to have another TV. I am going to require that it be a much smaller, unassuming TV and that it stay OFF except under very tightly controlled circumstances.
But I am sad. I think our home was a much better place with no working Television, and my children definitely were better people without it.
There is not one single positive thing that comes from having a TV.
Well, DH apparently isn't doing as well with it as I am. He hadn't said anything about it and had agreed that the children's behavior was SOOOOO much better without it [no kidding!!!!]. I thought we had agreed to just not replace it.
Then a few weeks back he came home all excited because a co-worker had offered to sell him her old TV [she recently won a brand new one apparently]. She said it was a 44inch plasma TV and was willing to sell it to him, as a friend and coworker, at $100. Which was, indeed, a very good deal for a plasma TV.
So, he drove to her home a couple of Saturdays back - a good long drive in and of itself - and got there to pick it up, only to find that she hadn't unpacked it from her "Pod" storage container yet. So, he had to spend the entire morning helping her unload this container [because, of course, the TV was in the very back]. She was having a yard sale at the same time and it took quite a long time because she kept having to go do other stuff - he was there for more than 3 hours.
So, finally they get to the back of the container, and he sees the TV and realizes it is NOT a plasma TV - it is an old "big screen" rear projection TV - at least 5 years old. Not high definition or anything else he was expecting. AND, the thing weighs several hundred pounds [it is one of those old monsters that has the big wood base and stands almost 6 feet high - it is a hulking monstrosity truly LOL!] He was very disappointed [and I was a little frustrated - $100 was a great deal for a plasma TV, but not so great for a 5+ year old rear projection TV at the end of its life....].
But, he decided to go ahead and buy it anyway [having invested several hours of back breaking labor at this point]. So he paid her, loaded the monster up, and brought it home.
To a less than pleased me - this thing took up half of the wall in our living room [NOT the "minimizing" of TV that I wanted] and I had to help move the thing into our house, pregnant and all! I was quite prickly by the end of it all. LOL!
The kids went nuts with excitement though - every kid's dream right - a TV bigger than all of them put together!!! And they proceeded to beg and whine and plead to watch TV the rest of the day and to play video games on the TV the rest of the day.
I thought the TV was less than impressive too, because though it is HUGE, the picture was blurry and grainy and quite terrible IMO. The sound was weird too.
Two hours after it came I was seeing some of the old bad behaviors again from the kids too - which I pointed out to DH and he agreed!
So, I decided to be "Nazi Mommy" and I made a rule that they could only watch the TV AT ALL on weekends. It would not come on during the week. That first Monday, they all tried to whine and get TV, but I was having none of it. It went fine from then on, until the next Saturday when then wanted to watch TV again all day and fight whenever I turned the TV off....*sigh*
I was very convinced that this was a bad thing.
Then, low and behold, Monday night while my husband was watching the TV [after the kids were in bed], the stupid thing died. It is completely toast - he's been working on it all week trying to get it fixed and scouring the net for info on repairing it, but to no avail.
So, we paid $100 and HOURS of his work [plus his back was "out" and excruciating for days afterwards too] for an old monster TV that worked for exactly 9 days.
Now, personally, I took this as a sign from God. LOL! We DON'T need no stinkin TV!
But, alas, my husband is mourning this stupid TV and feels very strongly now all of a sudden that he MUST have TV or he will die.
*Sigh*
So, I guess we are destined to have another TV. I am going to require that it be a much smaller, unassuming TV and that it stay OFF except under very tightly controlled circumstances.
But I am sad. I think our home was a much better place with no working Television, and my children definitely were better people without it.
There is not one single positive thing that comes from having a TV.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
A Day In The Life - July 2008
Well, life goes on here! I thought I'd give an update with a few pics.
Here is why I couldn't get rid of the lab mix:
He is actually behaving better now that the collie is gone - he has stopped trying to run away and hasn't bothered any chickens in the week and a half since she's been gone. I think we may have had a situation where a "bad" dog was influencing a good dog to do wrong things... I'm hopeful he's going to work out now that she has gone back to her Rescue [where she is doing very well according to the Rescue Lady].
All the kids are happy that the dog is staying.
The Boy 6yo is doing great too! He is a little mechanical Genius [Georgia Tech is written all over his forehead I think....], constantly building and designing new things with legos and anything else he gets his hands on.
He tried to convince me this week that he NEEDS me to still brush his teeth [yeah, I know, the kid is going to be 7 in a few weeks...]. We had it out and he tried to convince me that he just wasn't *capable* of flipping open the Tom's of Maine toothpaste and actually brushing his *own* teeth.
Yeah... this from the kid who a few months back decided to replace all the batteries in ALL the baby's toys [ahem... we have a secret policy of "once the batteries run down and the thing shuts up, no batteries are EVER put in there again" LOL!]. He decided it would "make her happy" if he did this, so he went to his father's tool box, retrieved the correct screw drivers for each different task, and spent the whole day unscrewing battery packs and replacing batteries until our house sounded, once again, like an electronic zoo... LOL! And it DID make the baby happy - and the 3yo too actually.
So, I'm not buying this "I can't manage the tooth brush" thing... LOL!
Here is my cutie patootie Monkey4 3yo pretending to be a Mama Kangaroo [see the joey in her "pouch"?!] and jumping all over the living room:
Here is Monkey1 doing what she always does:
She's been doing so well lately - she's finally gotten through that difficult "stage" she went into when her dad left and she's being quite the wonder child of late. Very enjoyable young lady, that's for sure!
Below is Monkey3 5yo during her reading lesson today. She is doing *extremely* well with reading - I think she might be my first ever "on time" reader [we are late readers around here - me included LOL!]. In fact, I have just about decided that I screwed up ordering a Kindergarten curriculum for her, because it is SO easy for her that it is ridiculous. I probably should have started her with first grade level work, but I didn't know... we will just breeze through the K stuff I think [she's doing the equivalent of 3 days of work every day because it is so easy and she considers it "fun"]. I'll get her the first grade stuff as soon as she's done and let her move on.
If you look closely in the pic below, you can see Monkey4 is doing her hair for her while she reads. LOL! Nobody EVER does your hair for you while you do your schoolwork in public school. ;)
And now, the current Bane of My Existence, The Dreaded Shmoo:
See, that's our homeschool work she's crawling all over - I can't keep the crazy toddler off the table. It is a good thing she's so cute or she'd never make it. [God knew what He was doing with this one... LOL!]
I have been spoiled rotten by all my previous toddlers. ALL of them have been content to sit at the school table with us and write in their own little coloring books, play with their blocks, do puzzles, and scribble on paper while the big kids did their work. All of them have - and they've all been willing to do this for an hour or so and then toddle off to play with something else when they are bored.
But not The Dreaded Shmoo. This child is not happy unless she's flinging everyone's books everywhere, stealing their pencils, snatching their bookmarks out of the books [right before she flings them across the room], crawling over them while they are trying to write, writing over their work on their page while they are trying to do it, BITING them randomly when she's mysteriously annoyed, ripping pages out of books and ripping up assignments....
ARGH! I don't know how I will survive this next school year trying to school with this toddler and an infant on the way! I'm terrified [really - see me Tremble! LOL!]. She's putting off her naps later and later [I think she's going to be an early nap-giver-upper like a couple of her other sibs have been] and we can't even do school while she naps...
By the end of the morning today I was a bundle of nerves from trying to teach the Kindergartener and the Second Grader while wrangling The Dreaded Shmoo. I was ready to toss her out a window, seriously. Thank Goodness Monkey1 is a pretty independent learner now with her 4th grade stuff - she doesn't require much help from me these days....
Guess that's what we get for naming a baby after Feisty Mother Angelica, huh?! This baby has ALL of her spunk and fire, let's just all pray to God that we can instill her holiness in there too, or the world is TRULY in trouble! ;)
One other note - as far as Sonlight, I have decided to keep both the Cores I bought [1/2 and 3/4]. I've been reasonably happy with Core 1/2. Not so much Core 3/4. I have been spending quite a many hours reading through the lesson plans in great detail [now that I've gotten them together right LOL!], and I think the program will work for us.
I still feel unhappy with Sonlight in general - I think the lesson plans are a nightmare. They are all mixed up, referencing the wrong page numbers to the study guides and just not carefully edited. In addition, in the study guides themselves, there are lots of careless mistakes - like using the wrong character name for a character in a discussion, and also including answers that are wrong and weren't what was in the book [the study guides are supposed to be the mother's "cheat sheet" so she doesn't have to read the books the kids have to read but can still ask them questions and make them answer... but some of the answers are wrong...].
And, I wouldn't trust Sonlight AT ALL to pick age appropriate content at this point - I WILL be reading all the books in Core 3/4 before I allow my daughter to read them, and some of them will not be read - at least until she is quite a bit older.
Core 1/2 seems great though, and I've decided to just use that for all 3 older kids this year and do Core 3/4 [my edited version anyway] with all of them for next year. That is going to work fine for us I think.
I think, having "lived and learned" at this point, I wouldn't recommend Sonlight to anyone who is looking for an "easy" way to do literature based education - which I love. I think it would be cheaper and easier to use the book lists from Mother of Divine Grace and Angelicum and just come up with your own curriculum - plus, those book list are all *safe* from what I have learned - meaning they don't include stuff like rape scenes for 9 year olds to read.
I guess I'm saying, I like the *idea* behind Sonlight, but their execution stinks IMO. LOL!
Have a great week!
Here is why I couldn't get rid of the lab mix:
He is actually behaving better now that the collie is gone - he has stopped trying to run away and hasn't bothered any chickens in the week and a half since she's been gone. I think we may have had a situation where a "bad" dog was influencing a good dog to do wrong things... I'm hopeful he's going to work out now that she has gone back to her Rescue [where she is doing very well according to the Rescue Lady].
All the kids are happy that the dog is staying.
The Boy 6yo is doing great too! He is a little mechanical Genius [Georgia Tech is written all over his forehead I think....], constantly building and designing new things with legos and anything else he gets his hands on.
He tried to convince me this week that he NEEDS me to still brush his teeth [yeah, I know, the kid is going to be 7 in a few weeks...]. We had it out and he tried to convince me that he just wasn't *capable* of flipping open the Tom's of Maine toothpaste and actually brushing his *own* teeth.
Yeah... this from the kid who a few months back decided to replace all the batteries in ALL the baby's toys [ahem... we have a secret policy of "once the batteries run down and the thing shuts up, no batteries are EVER put in there again" LOL!]. He decided it would "make her happy" if he did this, so he went to his father's tool box, retrieved the correct screw drivers for each different task, and spent the whole day unscrewing battery packs and replacing batteries until our house sounded, once again, like an electronic zoo... LOL! And it DID make the baby happy - and the 3yo too actually.
So, I'm not buying this "I can't manage the tooth brush" thing... LOL!
Here is my cutie patootie Monkey4 3yo pretending to be a Mama Kangaroo [see the joey in her "pouch"?!] and jumping all over the living room:
Here is Monkey1 doing what she always does:
She's been doing so well lately - she's finally gotten through that difficult "stage" she went into when her dad left and she's being quite the wonder child of late. Very enjoyable young lady, that's for sure!
Below is Monkey3 5yo during her reading lesson today. She is doing *extremely* well with reading - I think she might be my first ever "on time" reader [we are late readers around here - me included LOL!]. In fact, I have just about decided that I screwed up ordering a Kindergarten curriculum for her, because it is SO easy for her that it is ridiculous. I probably should have started her with first grade level work, but I didn't know... we will just breeze through the K stuff I think [she's doing the equivalent of 3 days of work every day because it is so easy and she considers it "fun"]. I'll get her the first grade stuff as soon as she's done and let her move on.
If you look closely in the pic below, you can see Monkey4 is doing her hair for her while she reads. LOL! Nobody EVER does your hair for you while you do your schoolwork in public school. ;)
And now, the current Bane of My Existence, The Dreaded Shmoo:
See, that's our homeschool work she's crawling all over - I can't keep the crazy toddler off the table. It is a good thing she's so cute or she'd never make it. [God knew what He was doing with this one... LOL!]
I have been spoiled rotten by all my previous toddlers. ALL of them have been content to sit at the school table with us and write in their own little coloring books, play with their blocks, do puzzles, and scribble on paper while the big kids did their work. All of them have - and they've all been willing to do this for an hour or so and then toddle off to play with something else when they are bored.
But not The Dreaded Shmoo. This child is not happy unless she's flinging everyone's books everywhere, stealing their pencils, snatching their bookmarks out of the books [right before she flings them across the room], crawling over them while they are trying to write, writing over their work on their page while they are trying to do it, BITING them randomly when she's mysteriously annoyed, ripping pages out of books and ripping up assignments....
ARGH! I don't know how I will survive this next school year trying to school with this toddler and an infant on the way! I'm terrified [really - see me Tremble! LOL!]. She's putting off her naps later and later [I think she's going to be an early nap-giver-upper like a couple of her other sibs have been] and we can't even do school while she naps...
By the end of the morning today I was a bundle of nerves from trying to teach the Kindergartener and the Second Grader while wrangling The Dreaded Shmoo. I was ready to toss her out a window, seriously. Thank Goodness Monkey1 is a pretty independent learner now with her 4th grade stuff - she doesn't require much help from me these days....
Guess that's what we get for naming a baby after Feisty Mother Angelica, huh?! This baby has ALL of her spunk and fire, let's just all pray to God that we can instill her holiness in there too, or the world is TRULY in trouble! ;)
One other note - as far as Sonlight, I have decided to keep both the Cores I bought [1/2 and 3/4]. I've been reasonably happy with Core 1/2. Not so much Core 3/4. I have been spending quite a many hours reading through the lesson plans in great detail [now that I've gotten them together right LOL!], and I think the program will work for us.
I still feel unhappy with Sonlight in general - I think the lesson plans are a nightmare. They are all mixed up, referencing the wrong page numbers to the study guides and just not carefully edited. In addition, in the study guides themselves, there are lots of careless mistakes - like using the wrong character name for a character in a discussion, and also including answers that are wrong and weren't what was in the book [the study guides are supposed to be the mother's "cheat sheet" so she doesn't have to read the books the kids have to read but can still ask them questions and make them answer... but some of the answers are wrong...].
And, I wouldn't trust Sonlight AT ALL to pick age appropriate content at this point - I WILL be reading all the books in Core 3/4 before I allow my daughter to read them, and some of them will not be read - at least until she is quite a bit older.
Core 1/2 seems great though, and I've decided to just use that for all 3 older kids this year and do Core 3/4 [my edited version anyway] with all of them for next year. That is going to work fine for us I think.
I think, having "lived and learned" at this point, I wouldn't recommend Sonlight to anyone who is looking for an "easy" way to do literature based education - which I love. I think it would be cheaper and easier to use the book lists from Mother of Divine Grace and Angelicum and just come up with your own curriculum - plus, those book list are all *safe* from what I have learned - meaning they don't include stuff like rape scenes for 9 year olds to read.
I guess I'm saying, I like the *idea* behind Sonlight, but their execution stinks IMO. LOL!
Have a great week!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
What Shall We Wear To Mass Today?
Boy, we just got home from Mass. You would think after a few decades being a convert, I'd get used to what some Catholics wear to Church, but you know... I never do. It is one of those great mysteries to me as a former Protestant, kind of like that mystery about why people will say "I am Catholic" and then follow it up with "But I don't believe what the Church teaches...." [then you aren't, by definition, a Catholic...]
You don't see that in Baptist Churches. In the same way that a woman would rather drop dead than wear spaghetti straps to Sunday service, nobody says "Yeah, I'm a Baptist, but I don't believe what the Baptists teach...." I mean, that's just nonsense isn't it? Either you are or you aren't.... and by definition, what defines your faith is what you believe, yes? If you don't believe what a certain faith teaches, then why would you claim that faith?
Very odd to my previously Protestant brain.
So, just in case anyone was wondering, I have some thoughts to share about how some people dress at Mass.
First, I should not see your breasts when I go to Mass. I don't want to see them, I don't need to see them, and God Help the poor Priest on the Altar who is struggling to live his vows of Chastity while having to look down into your amply revealed bosom to offer you Holy Communion - I mean, come on ladies!!!! WHAT are you thinking?
Not only should I not see any part of your breasts, but I should *definitely* not see enough of them to be able to determine whether they are the breasts God gave you or whether you chose some cosmetic surgical help to get them where they are today. [I guess one would be proud of any financial investment of that magnitude, but seriously - I don't need to see 'em. Trust me].
Likewise, I don't need to see your booty crack. I really don't. It may come as a shock, but "low rise" skin tight jeans that show half your gluteus maximus are NOT appropriate Church attire [or appropriate attire *anywhere* in life IMO, but that's another thread....]. And, as a "generously proportioned" woman myself, I feel comfortable telling you that if your jeans are 4 sizes too small and leave all your fat rolls hanging out in every direction, that really doesn't make the low riders any *more* attractive...quite the contrary my dears.
In addition, I don't need to see the lower part of your butt cheeks either. If you have a skirt on that is so short that people can tell whether or not you are wearing panties and what color they are when you kneel for prayer, you should probably rethink that outfit. [For Church AND life in general].
As a general rule, if you have a tattoo in an intimate spot that only your dear husband should ever view, I don't want to see it in Mass. Really. I'm sure it is lovely, but I can live my whole life without seeing it. NO harm will come of that. And if you purchased yourself one of those infamous "Whore License plates" across your entire rear, I don't need to see that either, no matter how fancy it is. Also, again, as an older woman with a tattoo that is showing its years, if you got your tattoo 20 or 30 years ago, it probably isn't as lovely as the day you got it. I prefer not to spend half of Mass behind you trying to squint and see what it was supposed to look like when you first got it in your youth - before all those extra pounds and babies came along... and the other half of Mass feeling horribly guilty for being so distracted that I spent the homily thinking "hmmmm....maybe it used to look like a wolf howling at the moon... or a hummingbird?".
In addition, spaghetti straps and tank tops aren't really nice Church attire either. Especially if they are cut lower in the back than your bra. If I can tell you not only exactly what color your bra is, but also the brand name and your cup size because I can see the entire back of it exposed the whole time I'm sitting behind you, well... you need to rethink that outfit. Truly. Just consider not wearing that one again.
Just... THINK. I mean seriously.
And if you are a Daddy and your darling 14 year old is the one committing these offenses in the Holy Mass, then you ought to be taken out and whipped. That girl needs a strong male role model in her life to teach her what the real beauty of a woman is, and obviously you are NOT fitting the bill. Go read a couple of good books on being a dad and give it at least as much effort as you give your business or your golf game. Check out "Father, the Family Protector" by James Stenson and go visit Steve Wood's website.
It never fails to amaze me to go to a Catholic Church in summer. We are blessed at our Church with a reasonably devout Congregation - 80% of the people who attend are dressed in their lovely Sunday best, or at the very least they aren't showing any parts favored by porn magazines. But even at our Church, we have that interesting 20% that choose to wear the most surprising things.
I am glad they are at Church. I really am, and God love them.
But I do wonder if it might not be appropriate to post a dress code or something outside the door. Maybe we could rent out "cover ups" like they have at the beach and use that to fund St. Vincent de Paul and help the poor or something...
Anyway, just had to share some thoughts on this today.
I hope you are having a Blessed weekend!
You don't see that in Baptist Churches. In the same way that a woman would rather drop dead than wear spaghetti straps to Sunday service, nobody says "Yeah, I'm a Baptist, but I don't believe what the Baptists teach...." I mean, that's just nonsense isn't it? Either you are or you aren't.... and by definition, what defines your faith is what you believe, yes? If you don't believe what a certain faith teaches, then why would you claim that faith?
Very odd to my previously Protestant brain.
So, just in case anyone was wondering, I have some thoughts to share about how some people dress at Mass.
First, I should not see your breasts when I go to Mass. I don't want to see them, I don't need to see them, and God Help the poor Priest on the Altar who is struggling to live his vows of Chastity while having to look down into your amply revealed bosom to offer you Holy Communion - I mean, come on ladies!!!! WHAT are you thinking?
Not only should I not see any part of your breasts, but I should *definitely* not see enough of them to be able to determine whether they are the breasts God gave you or whether you chose some cosmetic surgical help to get them where they are today. [I guess one would be proud of any financial investment of that magnitude, but seriously - I don't need to see 'em. Trust me].
Likewise, I don't need to see your booty crack. I really don't. It may come as a shock, but "low rise" skin tight jeans that show half your gluteus maximus are NOT appropriate Church attire [or appropriate attire *anywhere* in life IMO, but that's another thread....]. And, as a "generously proportioned" woman myself, I feel comfortable telling you that if your jeans are 4 sizes too small and leave all your fat rolls hanging out in every direction, that really doesn't make the low riders any *more* attractive...quite the contrary my dears.
In addition, I don't need to see the lower part of your butt cheeks either. If you have a skirt on that is so short that people can tell whether or not you are wearing panties and what color they are when you kneel for prayer, you should probably rethink that outfit. [For Church AND life in general].
As a general rule, if you have a tattoo in an intimate spot that only your dear husband should ever view, I don't want to see it in Mass. Really. I'm sure it is lovely, but I can live my whole life without seeing it. NO harm will come of that. And if you purchased yourself one of those infamous "Whore License plates" across your entire rear, I don't need to see that either, no matter how fancy it is. Also, again, as an older woman with a tattoo that is showing its years, if you got your tattoo 20 or 30 years ago, it probably isn't as lovely as the day you got it. I prefer not to spend half of Mass behind you trying to squint and see what it was supposed to look like when you first got it in your youth - before all those extra pounds and babies came along... and the other half of Mass feeling horribly guilty for being so distracted that I spent the homily thinking "hmmmm....maybe it used to look like a wolf howling at the moon... or a hummingbird?".
In addition, spaghetti straps and tank tops aren't really nice Church attire either. Especially if they are cut lower in the back than your bra. If I can tell you not only exactly what color your bra is, but also the brand name and your cup size because I can see the entire back of it exposed the whole time I'm sitting behind you, well... you need to rethink that outfit. Truly. Just consider not wearing that one again.
Just... THINK. I mean seriously.
And if you are a Daddy and your darling 14 year old is the one committing these offenses in the Holy Mass, then you ought to be taken out and whipped. That girl needs a strong male role model in her life to teach her what the real beauty of a woman is, and obviously you are NOT fitting the bill. Go read a couple of good books on being a dad and give it at least as much effort as you give your business or your golf game. Check out "Father, the Family Protector" by James Stenson and go visit Steve Wood's website.
It never fails to amaze me to go to a Catholic Church in summer. We are blessed at our Church with a reasonably devout Congregation - 80% of the people who attend are dressed in their lovely Sunday best, or at the very least they aren't showing any parts favored by porn magazines. But even at our Church, we have that interesting 20% that choose to wear the most surprising things.
I am glad they are at Church. I really am, and God love them.
But I do wonder if it might not be appropriate to post a dress code or something outside the door. Maybe we could rent out "cover ups" like they have at the beach and use that to fund St. Vincent de Paul and help the poor or something...
Anyway, just had to share some thoughts on this today.
I hope you are having a Blessed weekend!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
I Can't Do It!!!
Well, after all this stress over the dog... I am finding I just can't take him back to the Rescue this morning. I really love this dog, in spite of the difficulties he brings.
We did discover how he was scaling the fence [he had chewed the wood in one spot to give himself a toe hold of sorts - the dog is insanely smart]. My husband repaired the fence and now the dog *seems* to not be able to get out. He IS, of course, still a door bolter, but we are trying to be very careful to crate him if the doorbell rings or to put him in the back yard when we have to leave...
We are going to try some more with him. I figure I can always take him back to the Rescue if we decide it just isn't going to work, but once he's gone, he's gone. So I want to do the best I can to keep this guy if at all possible.
He is definitely a challenge, but he is also a very good dog in many other ways.
Of course, it may be that I'm just insane... LOL! Or so sleep deprived that I'm incapable of making rational decisions...
We did discover how he was scaling the fence [he had chewed the wood in one spot to give himself a toe hold of sorts - the dog is insanely smart]. My husband repaired the fence and now the dog *seems* to not be able to get out. He IS, of course, still a door bolter, but we are trying to be very careful to crate him if the doorbell rings or to put him in the back yard when we have to leave...
We are going to try some more with him. I figure I can always take him back to the Rescue if we decide it just isn't going to work, but once he's gone, he's gone. So I want to do the best I can to keep this guy if at all possible.
He is definitely a challenge, but he is also a very good dog in many other ways.
Of course, it may be that I'm just insane... LOL! Or so sleep deprived that I'm incapable of making rational decisions...
Friday, July 4, 2008
Sonlight - Am I Crazy?!!!!
OK, please tell me if you guys think I'm just some nut. [OK, well, that's a given I guess but I mean in this specific instance....;) ]
We bought the Sonlight Core 3/4 to use with our 9yo daughter. It is for grades 3 and 4 basically. [She is 4th this year]. Sonlight is amazingly expensive, and we are using Seton for all the academics [Sonlight for the reading, history, and science], so it was definitely a tremendous investment for us. We really liked the idea of "literature based learning" though that Sonlight has, and we felt it was worth it at the time.
I am *so* frustrated with Sonlight. [we already started our year because we are expecting a baby in Sept]. The first issue I had was that the Instructor's Guides were a nightmare and I think they are terrible - better off with no "lesson plans" than these mixed up things that are a nightmare to try to wade through [and often page numbers are wrong - not carefully done IMO].
Now, I'm VERY concerned about the books they've sent. I've been reading some of her books ahead of time and some of them have been awesome! [Like "Caddie Woodlawn" - I can't believe I never read that book before - it was wonderful! LOL!]
But I'm feeling concerned about a couple of the other choices in her Core - I read "Cheaper by the Dozen" last week [because I've always wanted to read it and never did!], and I was very concerned about some of the things in that book - the father's rabid anti-Christian attitude, the multiple instances of "Taking the Lord's Name in Vain" and a several swear words as well as the last two chapters where the older daughters become teenagers and basically disobey the father and kind of ridicule his rules and wheedle him in to changing his mind [about things like dressing modestly]. I was very uncomfortable with that - these aren't really lessons I want my 9yo to learn [or any of my kids no matter the age actually....].
Then, this week I read "Turn Homeward, Hannalee" and, while it is an *excellent* book that I really enjoyed, I felt it was totally inappropriate for a 9yo.... specifically the scene in the first half of the book where the Yankee soldiers get scary drunk and try to basically rape the young Confederate mill worker girls - while it doesn't say "rape" in the book, what happens is a VERY intense scene and it is obvious to me as an adult what is happening and I think it might be scary and confusing for my daughter, who does NOT know "all" the details about the facts of life yet. The other scene that I really thought was way too intense for a 9yo was the scene near the end where the two kids witness the battle of Murfreesboro TN and see the slaughter that happens - which is shared in some gruesome detail [such as the young heroine almost throwing up when she stumbles upon a dead soldier whose face is gone and there is "only blood where his face should be"]. Again, while it was an amazing story, it was *extremely* intense throughout.... totally too intense for the age group IMO - it was an intense read for *me* as an adult!
Now I feel really worried -I'm not sure I'm going to have time to proofread ALL her core before she gets to the books and I'm worried about what some of the content is in the other books. So far I've read 4 of them and 2 of them have been inappropriate in my opinion for a child my daughter's age. [If she were 15 I would not hesitate to let her read "Turn Homeward, Hannalee" - still don't think I'd let her read "Cheaper by the dozen" though.]
I thought maybe I was being overprotective, but I discussed it with my husband and he agreed also that these are not what we would consider appropriate for this age group.
So, now I feel like I spent this INSANE amount of money on a curriculum that is causing me extreme amounts of work [proofreading all 40 books or so that she's supposed to read this year AND the lesson plans are awful]. And, it looks like half the books I paid for will be books I don't want her to read...
I posted on the Sonlight Catholic list asking about this [basically wondering if I just picked the two "bad" books to read or if this problem ran through the whole core and asking how other families handled this] and I'm getting practically flamed!!!! EVERYONE who has responded has said I am pretty much a naive idiot and that my children are "going to learn about this stuff sooner or later so it might as well be now".
REALLY? WHY does a 9yo need to read about rape and gore on the battlefield? WHY should I expose a 9yo to curse words and taking the name of the Lord in vain? And why should I let her read a book that glamorizes teenage daughters who disobey and disrespect their parents and basically act like, um.... "Ho"s..... LOL!
I don't get it. I really feel like if I wanted to expose her to all this at such a young age, I might as well just enroll her in public school -which I can do for FREE and without paying Sonlight $900 to corrupt her for me and at considerably less effort on my part....
Am I totally off base here? Are there any other parents out there who would object to this content for a *9* year old? [That's the thing - some of this stuff would be GREAT on a high school level or even an older middle school level - but NINE?!!! Come on....]
Ugh. Now I'm feeling both frustrated and like a total freak. [not for the first or last time I bet LOL!]
We bought the Sonlight Core 3/4 to use with our 9yo daughter. It is for grades 3 and 4 basically. [She is 4th this year]. Sonlight is amazingly expensive, and we are using Seton for all the academics [Sonlight for the reading, history, and science], so it was definitely a tremendous investment for us. We really liked the idea of "literature based learning" though that Sonlight has, and we felt it was worth it at the time.
I am *so* frustrated with Sonlight. [we already started our year because we are expecting a baby in Sept]. The first issue I had was that the Instructor's Guides were a nightmare and I think they are terrible - better off with no "lesson plans" than these mixed up things that are a nightmare to try to wade through [and often page numbers are wrong - not carefully done IMO].
Now, I'm VERY concerned about the books they've sent. I've been reading some of her books ahead of time and some of them have been awesome! [Like "Caddie Woodlawn" - I can't believe I never read that book before - it was wonderful! LOL!]
But I'm feeling concerned about a couple of the other choices in her Core - I read "Cheaper by the Dozen" last week [because I've always wanted to read it and never did!], and I was very concerned about some of the things in that book - the father's rabid anti-Christian attitude, the multiple instances of "Taking the Lord's Name in Vain" and a several swear words as well as the last two chapters where the older daughters become teenagers and basically disobey the father and kind of ridicule his rules and wheedle him in to changing his mind [about things like dressing modestly]. I was very uncomfortable with that - these aren't really lessons I want my 9yo to learn [or any of my kids no matter the age actually....].
Then, this week I read "Turn Homeward, Hannalee" and, while it is an *excellent* book that I really enjoyed, I felt it was totally inappropriate for a 9yo.... specifically the scene in the first half of the book where the Yankee soldiers get scary drunk and try to basically rape the young Confederate mill worker girls - while it doesn't say "rape" in the book, what happens is a VERY intense scene and it is obvious to me as an adult what is happening and I think it might be scary and confusing for my daughter, who does NOT know "all" the details about the facts of life yet. The other scene that I really thought was way too intense for a 9yo was the scene near the end where the two kids witness the battle of Murfreesboro TN and see the slaughter that happens - which is shared in some gruesome detail [such as the young heroine almost throwing up when she stumbles upon a dead soldier whose face is gone and there is "only blood where his face should be"]. Again, while it was an amazing story, it was *extremely* intense throughout.... totally too intense for the age group IMO - it was an intense read for *me* as an adult!
Now I feel really worried -I'm not sure I'm going to have time to proofread ALL her core before she gets to the books and I'm worried about what some of the content is in the other books. So far I've read 4 of them and 2 of them have been inappropriate in my opinion for a child my daughter's age. [If she were 15 I would not hesitate to let her read "Turn Homeward, Hannalee" - still don't think I'd let her read "Cheaper by the dozen" though.]
I thought maybe I was being overprotective, but I discussed it with my husband and he agreed also that these are not what we would consider appropriate for this age group.
So, now I feel like I spent this INSANE amount of money on a curriculum that is causing me extreme amounts of work [proofreading all 40 books or so that she's supposed to read this year AND the lesson plans are awful]. And, it looks like half the books I paid for will be books I don't want her to read...
I posted on the Sonlight Catholic list asking about this [basically wondering if I just picked the two "bad" books to read or if this problem ran through the whole core and asking how other families handled this] and I'm getting practically flamed!!!! EVERYONE who has responded has said I am pretty much a naive idiot and that my children are "going to learn about this stuff sooner or later so it might as well be now".
REALLY? WHY does a 9yo need to read about rape and gore on the battlefield? WHY should I expose a 9yo to curse words and taking the name of the Lord in vain? And why should I let her read a book that glamorizes teenage daughters who disobey and disrespect their parents and basically act like, um.... "Ho"s..... LOL!
I don't get it. I really feel like if I wanted to expose her to all this at such a young age, I might as well just enroll her in public school -which I can do for FREE and without paying Sonlight $900 to corrupt her for me and at considerably less effort on my part....
Am I totally off base here? Are there any other parents out there who would object to this content for a *9* year old? [That's the thing - some of this stuff would be GREAT on a high school level or even an older middle school level - but NINE?!!! Come on....]
Ugh. Now I'm feeling both frustrated and like a total freak. [not for the first or last time I bet LOL!]
Thank You for the Dog Advice!
Wow, thank you all for the responses. I appreciate your advice. I think I will definitely not give them any money. Kristin was right when she pointed out in the comments that we paid $125 when we adopted the dog which covered way more than the cost of his vaccines and when they adopt him out again, the next owners will pay the same fee, so they are NOT losing money on this dog by any means!!!!
You guys have really set my mind at ease. Thank you!
Have a Great Fourth of July!!!! God Bless America!
You guys have really set my mind at ease. Thank you!
Have a Great Fourth of July!!!! God Bless America!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Small Moral Dilemma Regarding the Dogs....
I have a small-ish moral dilemma to ask advice about.
We are returning our two dogs to their Rescues - in fact, we returned the collie last Saturday and the lab/husky mix is going back this Saturday.
The main reasons they are going back is that they keep killing our chickens and they keep running away [they are both "door bolters" and will knock you down to get outside - they also are both very clever about figuring out new ways to get out of our fenced back yard when they are outside]. The collie was a MAJOR jumper and a big dog and I was afraid she was going to kill one of my little elderly neighbors [we have tons of seniors in this neighborhood who are always out walking] - she scared them to death and I am just sick of chasing both these stupid dogs down the street in summer in GA while pregnant... ugh. I'm also scared one of my kids is going to get hit by a car because they keep chasing after the stupid dogs after being told over and over that they aren't allowed to - but they are convinced the dogs will die if they don't chase them [they can't CATCH the dogs anyway, all it does is endanger my children!]
Anyway, some folks may think this makes me a terrible person to "abandon" these dogs, but I am really at peace with the decision at this point and I think it is the right decision. I put both dogs through obedience training, we've taken good care of them, both of them had serious [undisclosed by the rescues] behavior problems when we adopted them and I've managed to train MOST of those problem behaviors out of them - so both rescues are getting back MUCH better dogs than they adopted out.
Here is my dilemma.
We had had the collie for one year in May, and her shots were due in May. I had kept up her heartworm meds but had not gotten her to the vet for her shots yet. So, when I returned her, I also gave the woman a check for $150 to cover her vet bills. The woman at the collie rescue was *remarkably* kind about the whole thing - which surprised me. I had the feeling that she was so impressed that I had even tried to keep the dog after my DH left [she knew about all that because I had to stop fostering for her when that happened] and she was not upset with me AT ALL for bringing the dog back. She did not even want to take the check, but I insisted because I did feel like it was my responsibility to pay the dog's vet bills since she was behind.
Now, with the lab mix it has been a whole different story. We adopted him the last weekend of August last year, and he isn't due for his vet visit or shots yet. I did keep up his heartworm meds but he has not been to the vet since he's been here and he isn't due to go yet.
I've been trying for almost TWO WEEKS to get in touch with this rescue and it has really been a nightmare for me - very emotional and upsetting - our contract says they will ALWAYS take any of their dogs back for any reason and also states I'm not legally allowed to take him to any other shelter or to transfer ownership to anyone else!!! So, until they responded, I was literally stuck with him with no options.
In addition, he learned this week to scale our 6 foot wooden privacy fence - he has always been an escape artist, but this makes it *impossible* for me to keep him, period. I can't even tell you what a nightmare this week has been with that dog... ugh!
Anyway, FINALLY, someone from the rescue called me back last night.
First, she tried to talk me in to keeping him saying I should pay to have someone raise my fence two more feet with some sort of inverted fence topping thing that he couldn't scale - which would run into the hundreds if not thousands of dollars. We have already spent almost $1000.00 since we've had him trying to keep him IN the fence, doing fence repairs - he chews through wood - and buying special "dog proof" fencing to try to keep him away from the chickens and fortifying the hen house to keep him out after he chewed through the wooden wall of that to kill one of our hens - we did ALL of this because we wanted to keep him.
Frankly, I am NOT willing to spend any more on this dog - we have reached our limit and I'm not going to pull any more dead or tortured chickens from his mouth either. :( :(
So, then, finally, after really hassling me about keeping him, [she even suggested we just keep him chained in the yard - which would make most rescue people flip their lids because it is considered inhumane!!! He'd escape that too I have no doubt though], she asked me if I'd taken him to the vet and gotten his shots and I said No, because he wasn't due yet. [And he ISN'T - when I first started contacting them to try to return him, it was more than 2 months before he was due!]. She acted really annoyed like I was some bad pet owner for not taking him to the vet .... finally she agreed to let me return him on Saturday, but it was NOT a pleasant discussion. [She wasn't actually rude, just difficult, hard to explain I guess....]
So now I am trying to decide if I want to give them money to cover his vaccinations when I return him or not.
I'm torn about it - they weren't honest with us about his flaws when we bought him [and he was *horrible* when we first got him - he had every bad behavior in the book - but I trained him up very well and most of the behaviors I was able to fix]. I'm not sure if they didn't know or if they were just dishonest - I know I read their website yesterday and they had a section on advice to find a new home for your dog and it included being, basically, deliberately deceiving - they said "phrase everything positively and not negatively. For example, if you know your dog is not safe to have around small children, say "He is looking for a home with bigger kids who won't pull his tail because that hurts him"." [Sorry, but I think if you have a dog that bites small children, prospective new owners have a right to know that *very* clearly.... you know?]
So, on the one hand, I do feel they are/were deceptive about what dog they were adopting out and his problems and it HAS cost me tremendous amounts of money [which we in NO way could afford of course!]. On the other hand I do feel like I want to do the "right" thing and pay for the vet bills if I should do that morally. But I can't decide if that is true or not.
I think I would give them about $50 if I decide to give them anything - the lady who runs this rescue does all her own vaccinating and does NOT use a vet so it wouldn't cost her *nearly* what it would cost me to have his shots done. [I used to foster for this rescue too].
But $50 right now is a LOT of money to us, especially after just paying the $150 for the collie's vet bills - which I did feel we were morally obligated to do.
What do you guys think? Would you pay them some money for his vet bills? If so, how much? Or would you drop the beast off and just walk away?
We are returning our two dogs to their Rescues - in fact, we returned the collie last Saturday and the lab/husky mix is going back this Saturday.
The main reasons they are going back is that they keep killing our chickens and they keep running away [they are both "door bolters" and will knock you down to get outside - they also are both very clever about figuring out new ways to get out of our fenced back yard when they are outside]. The collie was a MAJOR jumper and a big dog and I was afraid she was going to kill one of my little elderly neighbors [we have tons of seniors in this neighborhood who are always out walking] - she scared them to death and I am just sick of chasing both these stupid dogs down the street in summer in GA while pregnant... ugh. I'm also scared one of my kids is going to get hit by a car because they keep chasing after the stupid dogs after being told over and over that they aren't allowed to - but they are convinced the dogs will die if they don't chase them [they can't CATCH the dogs anyway, all it does is endanger my children!]
Anyway, some folks may think this makes me a terrible person to "abandon" these dogs, but I am really at peace with the decision at this point and I think it is the right decision. I put both dogs through obedience training, we've taken good care of them, both of them had serious [undisclosed by the rescues] behavior problems when we adopted them and I've managed to train MOST of those problem behaviors out of them - so both rescues are getting back MUCH better dogs than they adopted out.
Here is my dilemma.
We had had the collie for one year in May, and her shots were due in May. I had kept up her heartworm meds but had not gotten her to the vet for her shots yet. So, when I returned her, I also gave the woman a check for $150 to cover her vet bills. The woman at the collie rescue was *remarkably* kind about the whole thing - which surprised me. I had the feeling that she was so impressed that I had even tried to keep the dog after my DH left [she knew about all that because I had to stop fostering for her when that happened] and she was not upset with me AT ALL for bringing the dog back. She did not even want to take the check, but I insisted because I did feel like it was my responsibility to pay the dog's vet bills since she was behind.
Now, with the lab mix it has been a whole different story. We adopted him the last weekend of August last year, and he isn't due for his vet visit or shots yet. I did keep up his heartworm meds but he has not been to the vet since he's been here and he isn't due to go yet.
I've been trying for almost TWO WEEKS to get in touch with this rescue and it has really been a nightmare for me - very emotional and upsetting - our contract says they will ALWAYS take any of their dogs back for any reason and also states I'm not legally allowed to take him to any other shelter or to transfer ownership to anyone else!!! So, until they responded, I was literally stuck with him with no options.
In addition, he learned this week to scale our 6 foot wooden privacy fence - he has always been an escape artist, but this makes it *impossible* for me to keep him, period. I can't even tell you what a nightmare this week has been with that dog... ugh!
Anyway, FINALLY, someone from the rescue called me back last night.
First, she tried to talk me in to keeping him saying I should pay to have someone raise my fence two more feet with some sort of inverted fence topping thing that he couldn't scale - which would run into the hundreds if not thousands of dollars. We have already spent almost $1000.00 since we've had him trying to keep him IN the fence, doing fence repairs - he chews through wood - and buying special "dog proof" fencing to try to keep him away from the chickens and fortifying the hen house to keep him out after he chewed through the wooden wall of that to kill one of our hens - we did ALL of this because we wanted to keep him.
Frankly, I am NOT willing to spend any more on this dog - we have reached our limit and I'm not going to pull any more dead or tortured chickens from his mouth either. :( :(
So, then, finally, after really hassling me about keeping him, [she even suggested we just keep him chained in the yard - which would make most rescue people flip their lids because it is considered inhumane!!! He'd escape that too I have no doubt though], she asked me if I'd taken him to the vet and gotten his shots and I said No, because he wasn't due yet. [And he ISN'T - when I first started contacting them to try to return him, it was more than 2 months before he was due!]. She acted really annoyed like I was some bad pet owner for not taking him to the vet .... finally she agreed to let me return him on Saturday, but it was NOT a pleasant discussion. [She wasn't actually rude, just difficult, hard to explain I guess....]
So now I am trying to decide if I want to give them money to cover his vaccinations when I return him or not.
I'm torn about it - they weren't honest with us about his flaws when we bought him [and he was *horrible* when we first got him - he had every bad behavior in the book - but I trained him up very well and most of the behaviors I was able to fix]. I'm not sure if they didn't know or if they were just dishonest - I know I read their website yesterday and they had a section on advice to find a new home for your dog and it included being, basically, deliberately deceiving - they said "phrase everything positively and not negatively. For example, if you know your dog is not safe to have around small children, say "He is looking for a home with bigger kids who won't pull his tail because that hurts him"." [Sorry, but I think if you have a dog that bites small children, prospective new owners have a right to know that *very* clearly.... you know?]
So, on the one hand, I do feel they are/were deceptive about what dog they were adopting out and his problems and it HAS cost me tremendous amounts of money [which we in NO way could afford of course!]. On the other hand I do feel like I want to do the "right" thing and pay for the vet bills if I should do that morally. But I can't decide if that is true or not.
I think I would give them about $50 if I decide to give them anything - the lady who runs this rescue does all her own vaccinating and does NOT use a vet so it wouldn't cost her *nearly* what it would cost me to have his shots done. [I used to foster for this rescue too].
But $50 right now is a LOT of money to us, especially after just paying the $150 for the collie's vet bills - which I did feel we were morally obligated to do.
What do you guys think? Would you pay them some money for his vet bills? If so, how much? Or would you drop the beast off and just walk away?
I'm Here!
Shelly and everyone - I'm here and I'm fine. I know I've been quiet, just a weird week here. We are in the process of a soap opera over returning our dogs to rescue after the latest chicken torturing and fence scaling events - I may post about it later. :(
THANK YOU all so much for your baby name suggestions - your lists are amazing!!
I think we have found a contender [do NOT tell me if you hate this name LOL!].
We are thinking it might be "Amelia Veronica".
Turns out St. Emilia is a fantastic, really awesome Saint! She was the daughter of St. Macrina the Elder, the wife of another Canonized Saint [whose name I've momentarily forgotten], and the mother of 9 children - FOUR of whom became Cannonized Saints themselves, including St. Basil the Great [one of the foremost doctors of the Church] and St. Macrina the Younger. [She was our family patron one year when we did our "Draw" on New Year's Day - so she is very special to our family already!].
And DH and I both think Amelia is a lovely name...
We are still somewhat debating Gemma - I go back and forth on it. So, this is by no means the "final" answer, but that's where we are leaning at the moment...
Thank you all so much for your help!
THANK YOU all so much for your baby name suggestions - your lists are amazing!!
I think we have found a contender [do NOT tell me if you hate this name LOL!].
We are thinking it might be "Amelia Veronica".
Turns out St. Emilia is a fantastic, really awesome Saint! She was the daughter of St. Macrina the Elder, the wife of another Canonized Saint [whose name I've momentarily forgotten], and the mother of 9 children - FOUR of whom became Cannonized Saints themselves, including St. Basil the Great [one of the foremost doctors of the Church] and St. Macrina the Younger. [She was our family patron one year when we did our "Draw" on New Year's Day - so she is very special to our family already!].
And DH and I both think Amelia is a lovely name...
We are still somewhat debating Gemma - I go back and forth on it. So, this is by no means the "final" answer, but that's where we are leaning at the moment...
Thank you all so much for your help!
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