First, almost everyone is better now. I feel better today and all the kids are fine except Monkey1, who stayed healthy the whole time we were all sick and then came down with our flu-like virus starting yesterday. Poor thing!
Second, DH got a promotion at work! Like a really huge deal big wig promotion. He is very excited - they are finally putting him exactly into the kind of position he is *perfect* for and it is something he is really interested in. Now, he works for a bank, so the pay increase wasn't quite as dramatic as the promotion was LOL! But still - it will mean more money each month, enough that I can cut back a bit on my hours at work I hope! I'm very excited for him!
Third, I had another OB appt yesterday and Gamma Ray is doing FINE. Heart still just beating away. I am amazed. I have to admit that this pregnancy really does NOT seem real to me. I haven't felt this way about any of my other pregnancies before, but I just really didn't expect little Gamma Ray to make it. In spite of feeling so sick and nauseous and exhausted, I just keep expecting them to tell me the baby didn't make it.
Truly, this baby has survived in a way that can really only be called miraculous - I mean, let's not even talk about the fact that it shouldn't be possible that I am pregnant at all right now based on the timing of things, but the mere fact that the baby survived without progesterone in the beginning is amazing - when none of my other babies could do that. Then, the baby survived the lithotripsy. And the general anesthesia. And the X-rays. And the narcotics. And my blood loss since then due to bleeding kidneys. And the flu bug from Hell and the high fever... I mean seriously.
I think this baby really MUST have Super Powers - or definitely friends in very high places! [Thank you St. Benedict!]
Hopefully Gamma Ray will start to feel real to me soon.... I guess it better! Because he/she is coming regardless of whether I think the baby is real or not LOL!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Somebody Shoot Me... Please!
Uughh.... OK, no cute pictures or great news or fun spiritual revelations to share this week.
I am sick. I have had the worst "like the flu but not the flu" illness since last Thursday. I ran a raging high fever for 3 days straight, had to work Sunday and teach a 6 hour Lamaze class so sick I thought I'd die before I saw the end of it [couldn't get anyone to teach for me, I tried, believe me!] and I'm taking care of a house full of equally desperately ill children - all of whom [except Monkey1 and Monkey3] caught my flu thing. And pregnant mothers really SHOULD NOT have to clean up vomit out of carpets, even when their kids are sick. Its just not fair.
My blessed father came over Friday to watch the children so I could go to the doctor, and my doctor was convinced it was the flu I had, but alas, the test came back negative. She tested for strep too, just since Monkey3 had that [she is recovered now], but that was negative as well. And, of course, being pregnant, she basically said "Go home and go to bed for a few days and rest, that's all you can do". No good drugs for me.
And can we just laugh at that advice? I have no help. I have been caring for all 5 kids by myself this whole time - no matter how high my fever has been or how much pain and misery I'm in [or how sick they are].
There are moments when I really wish someone truly would just shoot me, because I don't feel like I can handle even one more thing. And with all the kids being sick this weekend/week too, I've been up all night with them. When I went to bed last night I had literally been awake for 36 straight hours and hadn't had more than about 40 minutes of sleep in a row in a week or so.
I very seldom feel overwhelmed with my children - I really don't. I enjoy the heck out of them. But when I'm this sick, I do SO wish they had an "off" button. You know? Why wouldn't a Merciful God provide such a thing to a desperately sick mother?!
And I have to ask, do any of you wheedle your Guardian Angel? My Guardian Angel must hate me. I never think to ask for its help for the big stuff - no, its the "Oh Guardian Angel, please help me! I have been awake for 36 hours, I have been holding this feverish baby for 24 hours straight, I feel like I'm going to die and I just want her to lie down and take a nap - please let her sleep, please don't let her wake up screaming the second I lay her downy head upon her mattress, oh please Guardian Angel, please!" Sometimes I think my Angel pinches the baby just out of sheer irritation at my small mindedness.
Speaking of a Mericiful God, I'm reading "Padre Pio: Man of Hope" right now. It was supposed to be uplifting Lenten reading for me. Instead, I'm finding it *horribly* depressing. Poor Padre Pio. What a life of misery and suffering... instead of inspiring me to new spiritual heights, this book is unfortunately just making me wonder "Is God just plain mean?!"
Ugh. I hope I feel better soon. I am not able to be a decent mother like this, and I am really, truly feeling at the edge of despair right now. I can't get better because I can't rest, I can't care for my children because I can't get better, I am sicker than I remember ever being and it just keeps dragging on and on... and I'm scared to death the baby didn't survive this. I ran a high fever for so long and I wasn't able to eat while I had the fever, and then there's the throwing up part. I lost a lot of weight and I'm just worried about Gamma Ray. How could *anything* survive in my body right now? Poor little thing.
On one tiny positive note, I will share that I found out that the "CSI" trick with the Vick's Salve DOES actually work. As I was attempting to scrub vomit out of my son's carpet last night, the smell just kept making me run from the room and have to vomit too. Finally, I put some Vick's under my nose, and it really did cut the smell long enough to allow me to clean it up... so, all you morning sick mamas out there take note - go buy some Vick's to have on hand just in case! LOL!
I am sick. I have had the worst "like the flu but not the flu" illness since last Thursday. I ran a raging high fever for 3 days straight, had to work Sunday and teach a 6 hour Lamaze class so sick I thought I'd die before I saw the end of it [couldn't get anyone to teach for me, I tried, believe me!] and I'm taking care of a house full of equally desperately ill children - all of whom [except Monkey1 and Monkey3] caught my flu thing. And pregnant mothers really SHOULD NOT have to clean up vomit out of carpets, even when their kids are sick. Its just not fair.
My blessed father came over Friday to watch the children so I could go to the doctor, and my doctor was convinced it was the flu I had, but alas, the test came back negative. She tested for strep too, just since Monkey3 had that [she is recovered now], but that was negative as well. And, of course, being pregnant, she basically said "Go home and go to bed for a few days and rest, that's all you can do". No good drugs for me.
And can we just laugh at that advice? I have no help. I have been caring for all 5 kids by myself this whole time - no matter how high my fever has been or how much pain and misery I'm in [or how sick they are].
There are moments when I really wish someone truly would just shoot me, because I don't feel like I can handle even one more thing. And with all the kids being sick this weekend/week too, I've been up all night with them. When I went to bed last night I had literally been awake for 36 straight hours and hadn't had more than about 40 minutes of sleep in a row in a week or so.
I very seldom feel overwhelmed with my children - I really don't. I enjoy the heck out of them. But when I'm this sick, I do SO wish they had an "off" button. You know? Why wouldn't a Merciful God provide such a thing to a desperately sick mother?!
And I have to ask, do any of you wheedle your Guardian Angel? My Guardian Angel must hate me. I never think to ask for its help for the big stuff - no, its the "Oh Guardian Angel, please help me! I have been awake for 36 hours, I have been holding this feverish baby for 24 hours straight, I feel like I'm going to die and I just want her to lie down and take a nap - please let her sleep, please don't let her wake up screaming the second I lay her downy head upon her mattress, oh please Guardian Angel, please!" Sometimes I think my Angel pinches the baby just out of sheer irritation at my small mindedness.
Speaking of a Mericiful God, I'm reading "Padre Pio: Man of Hope" right now. It was supposed to be uplifting Lenten reading for me. Instead, I'm finding it *horribly* depressing. Poor Padre Pio. What a life of misery and suffering... instead of inspiring me to new spiritual heights, this book is unfortunately just making me wonder "Is God just plain mean?!"
Ugh. I hope I feel better soon. I am not able to be a decent mother like this, and I am really, truly feeling at the edge of despair right now. I can't get better because I can't rest, I can't care for my children because I can't get better, I am sicker than I remember ever being and it just keeps dragging on and on... and I'm scared to death the baby didn't survive this. I ran a high fever for so long and I wasn't able to eat while I had the fever, and then there's the throwing up part. I lost a lot of weight and I'm just worried about Gamma Ray. How could *anything* survive in my body right now? Poor little thing.
On one tiny positive note, I will share that I found out that the "CSI" trick with the Vick's Salve DOES actually work. As I was attempting to scrub vomit out of my son's carpet last night, the smell just kept making me run from the room and have to vomit too. Finally, I put some Vick's under my nose, and it really did cut the smell long enough to allow me to clean it up... so, all you morning sick mamas out there take note - go buy some Vick's to have on hand just in case! LOL!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Poor Monkey3!!!
Little Monkey3 started running a fever Tuesday, and it just kept getting higher and she was really pathetic - hurt all over, tummy ache, head ache, throat sore, lethargic... so my husband took a half day yesterday to take her to the doctor. It turns out she has Strep! None of my kids have ever had this before, so I was surprised. [I'm not surprised she got sick though, at her preschool last week they had the class party and half the kids in there were VERY sick and their parents sent them to school anyway so they wouldn't miss the party! .... Gee, thanks guys!]
She started on antibiotics last night and by this morning she seems to feel 100% better. *I* am keeping her out of school today of course [being the considerate person that I am LOL!]. But she's running around like her normal little mad woman self again today, so I believe she is certainly on the mend.
Of course, I woke up with a sore throat and cough this morning...hopefully not strep. I don't think I've ever had strep either - it just isn't one of our "normal" bugs around here. Hopefully I just have a little cold, I understand bugs are going around like crazy right now.
But, really, when I woke up yesterday I was thinking "I don't have enough going on right now with the pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, vomiting, and the kidneys bleeding constantly - I wish I could get a cold on top of it all. THEN I'll have enough to deal with." LOL!
Otherwise things are good though, everyone else seems healthy and I have no complaints about life at all.
Little "Gamma Ray" [the new baby's nick name ... we figure he/she will come out radioactive and with super powers at this point after surviving so much radiation... LOL!] seems to be doing very well. I'm certainly sick enough to feel that the baby is doing GREAT, which is actually a really good thing.
God is so good!
She started on antibiotics last night and by this morning she seems to feel 100% better. *I* am keeping her out of school today of course [being the considerate person that I am LOL!]. But she's running around like her normal little mad woman self again today, so I believe she is certainly on the mend.
Of course, I woke up with a sore throat and cough this morning...hopefully not strep. I don't think I've ever had strep either - it just isn't one of our "normal" bugs around here. Hopefully I just have a little cold, I understand bugs are going around like crazy right now.
But, really, when I woke up yesterday I was thinking "I don't have enough going on right now with the pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, vomiting, and the kidneys bleeding constantly - I wish I could get a cold on top of it all. THEN I'll have enough to deal with." LOL!
Otherwise things are good though, everyone else seems healthy and I have no complaints about life at all.
Little "Gamma Ray" [the new baby's nick name ... we figure he/she will come out radioactive and with super powers at this point after surviving so much radiation... LOL!] seems to be doing very well. I'm certainly sick enough to feel that the baby is doing GREAT, which is actually a really good thing.
God is so good!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Guess I'm a Softie...
I let the dogs back in the house. It is supposed to be getting cold again soon... and the lab/husky mix just keeps looking at me with those big brown eyes... LOL!
In case anyone was worried about him, the dog is fine. I think he just ate something that didn't agree with him or something - he was playful and energetic today and yesterday, an no new stomach discomfort as far as I can see.
In case anyone was worried about him, the dog is fine. I think he just ate something that didn't agree with him or something - he was playful and energetic today and yesterday, an no new stomach discomfort as far as I can see.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Penance
Today I am doing Penance. The Lord is giving me so much to offer up this morning, that I know He must be calling me to Penance and prayer for those on my prayer list.
I have another kidney stone that is trying to pass since Friday. It has not, thus far, caused the excruciating incapacitating pain that I've had a few times now with stones, it just hurts in this constant dull way for now. But, enough to keep me up at night and make me grouchy during the day.
In addition, I've started with the serious pregnancy "morning sickness" [which is all day for me from about week 6 till about week 12]. I am seriously nauseous all the time and feel faint if I don't eat protein every 3 hours or so.
We went to early Mass this morning and I did make it through, despite worrying I was going to pass out in the pew [I don't normally eat before Mass to observe the fast before the Eucharist, but I may have to start eating before Mass while I'm pregnant]. DH took the baby and the 2yo out of Mass half way through because they were being rowdy, so I spent the second half of Mass sitting pleasantly with my 9yo, 6yo, and 4yo, who all behaved extremely well - Praise God!
So, we came home only to find that sometime during the night, our lab mix dog had gotten sick to his stomach from eating something or other that he found [If you have a weak stomach, don't read past this part, trust me!].
Rather than poop in his crate, he decide to relieve himself of his diarrhea by literally spraying it all around the outside of his crate [I can only imagine how he must have managed this - he had to have pressed his bottom against the sides of the crate to do it!]. Thus, he had managed to keep his crate completely diarrhea free, and yet get diarrhea all over the wall, kitchen floor and carpet in the family room [his crate sits right between the kitchen and family room, against a wall]. One of the kids had let him out of the crate early this morning, but had not "noticed" the diarrhea ... which just boggles the mind.
So... I came home from Mass to walk into the kitchen [which I had not entered yet today] only to be assaulted by the worst smell imaginable... and when I saw what the dog had done, I started trying to heave... ugh. It was so awful.
So there I was, sick, pregnant, miserable, in pain from my stupid kidney, on my hands and knees, trying to use bleach to clean up this vile disgusting mess. [and I'm pretty sure pregnant women aren't supposed to mess with bleach at all - I usually use non-toxic cleaners, but in this instance, bleach was absolutely necessary].
It was really horrible - the worst thing I've ever had to clean up, and with 5 kids, I've cleaned up some doozies. My husband was trying to keep the baby OUT of the dog diarrhea, and the kids were all complaining that they were hungry [we ALL were thank you very much!], but the clean up obviously had to come first.
I think we now have two outside dogs. I hate to be like that, but I just don't think I could handle another clean up like that one.
I've sort of been considering this for a few days anyway because of our collie.
Our collie has decided to start constantly waking me up at night, just being obnoxious. It started with thunder storms - she would wake me up all night long if there was a thunder storm because she's scared of thunder. Which at least I could understand. Then she started waking me any night it even rained a small bit - the tiniest shower would cause her to go nuts [she looks like an *insane dog* when she's doing this, she is totally tweaking, I think the dog is a nutcase actually]. And she wakes me up over and over and over [and did I mention that I have FIVE children who already consider it their very own privilege to wake mommy up?! I am going to DIE if I don't sleep soon! Really! I promise!]. Then, this week, she decided that every night was a fine night to tweak and wake me up all night - regardless of the weather [I guess there MIGHT be a thunder storm coming every night, you just never know....]
So, I've decided that the insane, neurotic collie and the diarrhea spewing lab mix can live outside. They like it outside. They stay out there most of the daylight hours as it is, playing with the kids and such. I bring them in at night... but I think maybe they need to just live out there full time. [OK, I'll bring them in when it is freezing cold and such of course]. Dh is already working on plans for a nice dog house for them, and I just made this decision an hour ago. LOL!
So, that's my penance thus far today, and its not even noon.
I have to go to work and teach a 7 hour Lamaze class here in a few minutes - I'm praying that part of my day goes better than my morning did [and also that the pain level with the kidney stones stays at a manageable level so I can get through the class!].
But, rest assured, if you have asked me to pray for you in the last few weeks, I have offered up a LOT for you today [and your family and children and priest and anyone else you asked me to pray for. ;) ].
Isn't God kind to give me such a great opportunity to Sacrifice on behalf of those I care for?! LOL!
God Bless you - have a great week!
I have another kidney stone that is trying to pass since Friday. It has not, thus far, caused the excruciating incapacitating pain that I've had a few times now with stones, it just hurts in this constant dull way for now. But, enough to keep me up at night and make me grouchy during the day.
In addition, I've started with the serious pregnancy "morning sickness" [which is all day for me from about week 6 till about week 12]. I am seriously nauseous all the time and feel faint if I don't eat protein every 3 hours or so.
We went to early Mass this morning and I did make it through, despite worrying I was going to pass out in the pew [I don't normally eat before Mass to observe the fast before the Eucharist, but I may have to start eating before Mass while I'm pregnant]. DH took the baby and the 2yo out of Mass half way through because they were being rowdy, so I spent the second half of Mass sitting pleasantly with my 9yo, 6yo, and 4yo, who all behaved extremely well - Praise God!
So, we came home only to find that sometime during the night, our lab mix dog had gotten sick to his stomach from eating something or other that he found [If you have a weak stomach, don't read past this part, trust me!].
Rather than poop in his crate, he decide to relieve himself of his diarrhea by literally spraying it all around the outside of his crate [I can only imagine how he must have managed this - he had to have pressed his bottom against the sides of the crate to do it!]. Thus, he had managed to keep his crate completely diarrhea free, and yet get diarrhea all over the wall, kitchen floor and carpet in the family room [his crate sits right between the kitchen and family room, against a wall]. One of the kids had let him out of the crate early this morning, but had not "noticed" the diarrhea ... which just boggles the mind.
So... I came home from Mass to walk into the kitchen [which I had not entered yet today] only to be assaulted by the worst smell imaginable... and when I saw what the dog had done, I started trying to heave... ugh. It was so awful.
So there I was, sick, pregnant, miserable, in pain from my stupid kidney, on my hands and knees, trying to use bleach to clean up this vile disgusting mess. [and I'm pretty sure pregnant women aren't supposed to mess with bleach at all - I usually use non-toxic cleaners, but in this instance, bleach was absolutely necessary].
It was really horrible - the worst thing I've ever had to clean up, and with 5 kids, I've cleaned up some doozies. My husband was trying to keep the baby OUT of the dog diarrhea, and the kids were all complaining that they were hungry [we ALL were thank you very much!], but the clean up obviously had to come first.
I think we now have two outside dogs. I hate to be like that, but I just don't think I could handle another clean up like that one.
I've sort of been considering this for a few days anyway because of our collie.
Our collie has decided to start constantly waking me up at night, just being obnoxious. It started with thunder storms - she would wake me up all night long if there was a thunder storm because she's scared of thunder. Which at least I could understand. Then she started waking me any night it even rained a small bit - the tiniest shower would cause her to go nuts [she looks like an *insane dog* when she's doing this, she is totally tweaking, I think the dog is a nutcase actually]. And she wakes me up over and over and over [and did I mention that I have FIVE children who already consider it their very own privilege to wake mommy up?! I am going to DIE if I don't sleep soon! Really! I promise!]. Then, this week, she decided that every night was a fine night to tweak and wake me up all night - regardless of the weather [I guess there MIGHT be a thunder storm coming every night, you just never know....]
So, I've decided that the insane, neurotic collie and the diarrhea spewing lab mix can live outside. They like it outside. They stay out there most of the daylight hours as it is, playing with the kids and such. I bring them in at night... but I think maybe they need to just live out there full time. [OK, I'll bring them in when it is freezing cold and such of course]. Dh is already working on plans for a nice dog house for them, and I just made this decision an hour ago. LOL!
So, that's my penance thus far today, and its not even noon.
I have to go to work and teach a 7 hour Lamaze class here in a few minutes - I'm praying that part of my day goes better than my morning did [and also that the pain level with the kidney stones stays at a manageable level so I can get through the class!].
But, rest assured, if you have asked me to pray for you in the last few weeks, I have offered up a LOT for you today [and your family and children and priest and anyone else you asked me to pray for. ;) ].
Isn't God kind to give me such a great opportunity to Sacrifice on behalf of those I care for?! LOL!
God Bless you - have a great week!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Chicken Poop
Traci asked the question about whether the chickens poop in the yard or not. Yes, when they are free, they do poop in the yard. :) Which is why they aren't free much. We plan to build a little "chicken run" for them, a little enclosed side yard to their hen house with their own private entrance, but that got side tracked a bit with the unexpected pregnancy stuff. So, for now they pretty much stay in the hen house all the time [which is OK from what I've read because it is plenty big enough for 5 chickens to hang out in]. We let them out the other day just because I wanted them to get some exercise.
But yeah, chickens pretty much poop wherever they are. It is good for the grass, but not good for barefoot kids. LOL!
But yeah, chickens pretty much poop wherever they are. It is good for the grass, but not good for barefoot kids. LOL!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
We Have A Heartbeat!!!!!
Just got back from the OB - we have a heartbeat and everything looks GREAT with the baby! My due date is Oct 9 [I had Oct 6 based on when I thought ovulation occurred, but obviously I must have been off on that considering here I am pregnant... LOL! So Oct 9 sounds about right].
I was just crying in the office - we are SO excited! Pete is overjoyed too - he is like a giddy little kid he's so happy about it!
Also we talked to my OB [this is the one we used with babies #2, 3, & 4 - NOT the ones we used with baby 5 that almost killed us both] and I liked what he said - he plans to be VERY proactive with this. Ironically enough, I think having had an eclamptic seizure last time will probably save my life this time - because they are taking it *very seriously*! Tomorrow he is setting up my initial appointment with the high risk specialists [the ones I saw with baby 4 that I liked] and I will start seeing them right away too.
God is so good. I feel so happy right now I can't even express it!
Thank you ALL for your support and your prayers - God answered with so much more than I ever even expected! :) :) :)
Kelly
I was just crying in the office - we are SO excited! Pete is overjoyed too - he is like a giddy little kid he's so happy about it!
Also we talked to my OB [this is the one we used with babies #2, 3, & 4 - NOT the ones we used with baby 5 that almost killed us both] and I liked what he said - he plans to be VERY proactive with this. Ironically enough, I think having had an eclamptic seizure last time will probably save my life this time - because they are taking it *very seriously*! Tomorrow he is setting up my initial appointment with the high risk specialists [the ones I saw with baby 4 that I liked] and I will start seeing them right away too.
God is so good. I feel so happy right now I can't even express it!
Thank you ALL for your support and your prayers - God answered with so much more than I ever even expected! :) :) :)
Kelly
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
A Fun Few Days....
We've had a busy but fun few days around here. Aside from me feeling very pregnant, we have been having a good time!
I worked over the weekend Friday and Saturday and then Sunday we went to my mom and dad's house to [finally] celebrate Monkey5's first birthday. It was lots of fun! We really enjoyed getting to see and hang out with my parents, sister, brother and his girlfriend and her daughter [who really are like my SIL & neice...wish they'd tie the knot already!].
Then yesterday we went to the Homeschool Mass at the Cathedral down town with the Archbishop. Both the older kids had roles to play in the Mass - Monkey1 did the Prayers of the Faithful and Monkey2 brought forward the Gifts. It was a beautiful Mass and both kids felt just totally in awe to be "doing" the Mass with the Archbishop.
However, Monkey3 and Monkey4 behaved worse than they've ever behaved in a Church before in their lives. I was literally crying in the lobby around the time they did the Consecration. I had the baby in the backpack and I felt sooooo awful anyway - so nauseous and exhausted from being pregnant... and they were just awful. *sigh*
But, none the less, we survived the Mass [Monkey3 only by the Grace of God - she was the ringleader] and it is an experience Monkey1 and Monkey2 will never forget! [I won't forget it either, but for a different reason LOL!]
Today we had fun with the chickens. Chickens are so very cool - I am loving having chickens more and more every day and we haven't even gotten a single egg yet! The chickens have been FAR easier to care for than I ever imagined, and they are so fun to watch and interact with.
The kids are getting really good at catching their chickens too - which is an art I'm finding. We moved them out of their hen house today to let them roam around the yard a bit and get some exercise [the chicken-killing-lab mix was safely inside in his crate of course and the collie was locked in the house too!]. It was really fun.
In a few more weeks we should be getting actual eggs - woohoo!
Monkey1 wanted to put Monkey5 in the Mei Tai carrier and carry her around while I worked with chickens this afternoon - I thought it was unbelievably cute! And very helpful!!! She did a great job!
I worked over the weekend Friday and Saturday and then Sunday we went to my mom and dad's house to [finally] celebrate Monkey5's first birthday. It was lots of fun! We really enjoyed getting to see and hang out with my parents, sister, brother and his girlfriend and her daughter [who really are like my SIL & neice...wish they'd tie the knot already!].
Then yesterday we went to the Homeschool Mass at the Cathedral down town with the Archbishop. Both the older kids had roles to play in the Mass - Monkey1 did the Prayers of the Faithful and Monkey2 brought forward the Gifts. It was a beautiful Mass and both kids felt just totally in awe to be "doing" the Mass with the Archbishop.
However, Monkey3 and Monkey4 behaved worse than they've ever behaved in a Church before in their lives. I was literally crying in the lobby around the time they did the Consecration. I had the baby in the backpack and I felt sooooo awful anyway - so nauseous and exhausted from being pregnant... and they were just awful. *sigh*
But, none the less, we survived the Mass [Monkey3 only by the Grace of God - she was the ringleader] and it is an experience Monkey1 and Monkey2 will never forget! [I won't forget it either, but for a different reason LOL!]
Today we had fun with the chickens. Chickens are so very cool - I am loving having chickens more and more every day and we haven't even gotten a single egg yet! The chickens have been FAR easier to care for than I ever imagined, and they are so fun to watch and interact with.
The kids are getting really good at catching their chickens too - which is an art I'm finding. We moved them out of their hen house today to let them roam around the yard a bit and get some exercise [the chicken-killing-lab mix was safely inside in his crate of course and the collie was locked in the house too!]. It was really fun.
In a few more weeks we should be getting actual eggs - woohoo!
Monkey1 wanted to put Monkey5 in the Mei Tai carrier and carry her around while I worked with chickens this afternoon - I thought it was unbelievably cute! And very helpful!!! She did a great job!
No Update Yet
Several people have emailed me with requests for updates on the baby this week.
I don't know anything new or have any updates until tomorrow - my appt is at 4pm and they will do another sono then and see if they find a munchkin.
But I can say that I am feeling *really really* sick and exhausted with the pregnancy - like falling asleep constantly and having a very difficult time not puking from morning till night. I consider this to be an excellent sign that the baby is alive and well - I *never* felt like this with the babies I lost. [I'm also realizing that I am very OLD to be having a baby this time and the morning sickness / exhaustion is really getting to me, it seems worse than ever this time! LOL!].
I will be very surprised tomorrow if they tell me the baby isn't there - because *somebody* is making me feel this way! ;) I just don't see how I could be feeling THIS bad and not be really, really pregnant LOL!
I'll know for sure tomorrow, but I feel less worried now than I did last week. Thank you ALL for your prayers and kindness!
I don't know anything new or have any updates until tomorrow - my appt is at 4pm and they will do another sono then and see if they find a munchkin.
But I can say that I am feeling *really really* sick and exhausted with the pregnancy - like falling asleep constantly and having a very difficult time not puking from morning till night. I consider this to be an excellent sign that the baby is alive and well - I *never* felt like this with the babies I lost. [I'm also realizing that I am very OLD to be having a baby this time and the morning sickness / exhaustion is really getting to me, it seems worse than ever this time! LOL!].
I will be very surprised tomorrow if they tell me the baby isn't there - because *somebody* is making me feel this way! ;) I just don't see how I could be feeling THIS bad and not be really, really pregnant LOL!
I'll know for sure tomorrow, but I feel less worried now than I did last week. Thank you ALL for your prayers and kindness!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Quotes of the Day
This afternoon the children were playing in the backyard and all of a sudden I hear Monkey3 [4yo] wailing. She's a tough little kid, so when she cries, I *know* there is really something wrong.
She stumbles into the house, covered in dirt, leaves, and pine straw, bawling her eyes out, followed by her big brother [6yo].
I ask "What happened?!!!"
Monkey3 is wailing and can't speak, so The Boy responds for her "She was riding Tyr and fell off". [For the uninitiated, Tyr is our lab/husky mix dog!]
Me: "What do you mean she was riding Tyr?! Do you mean she was actually ON his back?"
The Boy: "Yes! She was bullriding!"
Me: "Monkey3! You can't ride Tyr like a horse, you will hurt him! You will break his back!"
Monkey3 continues sobbing too hard to speak. [I am getting her an ice pack while this conversation happens].
The Boy: "Yeah, she was riding his back and holding on to his collar, and I threw a ball and he went after it. She stayed on half way across the back yard before he bucked her off!"
Me: "Are you kidding me?! You guys can't do that to the dog, you are going to kill him!"
The Boy: "Yeah. We can't do that to the dog."
He pauses, looking at his sobbing little sister [who, fortunately for the dog, weighs only about 34 pounds soaking wet].
Then, with great pride in his eyes he gently pats her and says "But you were REALLY BRAVE to stay on that long Monkey3!"
LOL!
I had to laugh quietly out of their view, because it was just so funny. She IS really brave. If not for the utter outrage on behalf of the poor dog, I would have been impressed too. I found out later their dad had let them watch a small segment of a rodeo on TV.
The kid does have some guts!
And, today, we have more than one quote of the day.
A friend of mine said to me today: "Also, know that God does have your Back. (He must have been the original Marine.) "
ROFL! I couldn't agree more!
Then, tonight while trying to get the children to bed [the horribly disobedient children, in my defense!], I let fly a curse word!
The moment I said it I looked up at my husband and said: "You know, St. Padre Pio NEVER said a curse word in his entire life. I don't think he can be my patron Saint!" [Let's just say this "letting curse words slip" thing is an ongoing struggle for me in moments of stress and frustration. :( ]
Without missing a beat, my husband looks at me and says "Padre Pio never had 6 kids."
I Ain't Afraid of Dying....
OK, well, that's not really true - I'm terrified of dying. Mostly because I am insanely worried what would happen to my children and my husband if I do.
But I will not let that fear influence my decisions or how I live my life.
It has been an interesting week. I had an OB appointment on Monday, and they did a sonogram that was "inconclusive". The Sonographer was very negative during the sonogram and told me that the baby "wasn't there" and had died and that we should see something by now. She found a gestational sac, but no yolk sac or fetal pole. However, when I saw my OB, he was much more positive. He said it was possible that the baby had died, but it was also VERY possible that it was just too early to see anything. [I was somewhere between 4 weeks 5 days and exactly 5 weeks along].
I was very upset by this at first, and I am praying and sacrificing fervently that my baby may live. But, I am feeling much more at peace now and more positive, partly because I am having such clear pregnancy symptoms that I find it hard to believe that the baby is not alive - I did not experience these kinds of symptoms with the other babies I have miscarried.
If the baby lives, then my life is certainly in danger. I am not stupid. I do understand this.
But some disturbing things have happened this week that leave me pondering.
I told my sister about what was going on. She is the only family we have told at all, but she and I are so close it was just impossible not to share this with her. She did not react well. She was very upset, very concerned that I won't survive. She started saying something and then stopped herself, I am pretty sure she was going to ask me to please consider an abortion. [Which she knows I would never do, which is why she stopped herself].
A friend that I know through a Preeclampsia support group also contacted me this week. She contacted me with the suggestion that I stop taking the progesterone [I have had to take progesterone with almost all of my pregnancies or I miscarry]. She made the point that if my placenta was faulty [which it always is with every baby - this is what most directly leads to my preeclampsia], then the progesterone would give it "just enough help" to get it implanted and then later in the pregnancy it would cause me to develop PE again and be at severe risk of injury and death.
But of course, stopping the progesterone means almost certain death for my baby. And there is no way I will do that. I know that this friend is speaking only out of concern - she knows how bad this may be. She knows how close things were last time. She is speaking out of concern for my life.
But the fact is, I will never trade my baby's life for my own. No matter what. I won't stop taking progesterone and compromise my baby's life any more than I would take a knife and slit the throat of my 9 year old if Satan showed up on my doorstep and offered me 50 more years of perfect health if I did. Both of these children are just as important - the one we can see and the one we can't. And each of their lives is worth more than my own in my opinion.
I am not stupid. At least in the sense of understanding exactly what the risks are - I do.
Many people might argue that I AM stupid for becoming pregnant again, however accidentally. But we were trying to follow the teachings of the Church. I cannot feel stupid for doing that.
My husband and I have been arguing about this for the last 3 months. [Well, honestly for the last year]. He really wants to seek a permanent solution to our "hyper fertility". I understand him. I understand why he feels this way. He is very concerned that I will die - he is full of fear [and this is not illogical]. He would already have taken these steps if not for my strenuous protests, and I think at this point that he will take these steps regardless of my feelings.
But the very idea breaks my heart. Practically speaking, I can understand the sanity of his choice. Spiritually speaking, it is eating me up. I have strived for the last 11 years to live my life in complete obedience to the Will of God [and failing miserably, but always trying my best].
I hope that this baby lives. I want this baby SO MUCH now that it exists [planned or not!]
I hope that I live.
I hope that one day my husband holds this child in his arms, looks me in the eyes, and thinks "Gosh, I'm so glad she was right!"
I hope one day my sister is able to give this child a piggy back ride and think "Oh, thank God for this little miracle!"
But this may not be so. The Will of God is not always gentle, not always shiny and happy. It may be His Will that I am to die with this birth. I hope this is not His Will, but part of accepting His Will is accepting it no matter WHAT.
If He does decide to take me in childbirth, then I can only trust to His Divine Mercy that he will care for my children and my husband. There are many notable Saints who lost their mothers at a young age [St. Therese and John Paul the Great come immediately to mind] and there are many men who managed to grow in holiness while raising their children alone [St. Therese's father comes to mind as one...he is now a Blessed]. I can only pray that this will be the fate of my children and my husband if they are without me.
My task for this Lent is to come to peace with the Will of God. No matter what. In all circumstances. My task is to leave my fear behind and grow in Trust - until I can truthfully say, with no reservation, "I Ain't Afraid of Dying."
But I will not let that fear influence my decisions or how I live my life.
It has been an interesting week. I had an OB appointment on Monday, and they did a sonogram that was "inconclusive". The Sonographer was very negative during the sonogram and told me that the baby "wasn't there" and had died and that we should see something by now. She found a gestational sac, but no yolk sac or fetal pole. However, when I saw my OB, he was much more positive. He said it was possible that the baby had died, but it was also VERY possible that it was just too early to see anything. [I was somewhere between 4 weeks 5 days and exactly 5 weeks along].
I was very upset by this at first, and I am praying and sacrificing fervently that my baby may live. But, I am feeling much more at peace now and more positive, partly because I am having such clear pregnancy symptoms that I find it hard to believe that the baby is not alive - I did not experience these kinds of symptoms with the other babies I have miscarried.
If the baby lives, then my life is certainly in danger. I am not stupid. I do understand this.
But some disturbing things have happened this week that leave me pondering.
I told my sister about what was going on. She is the only family we have told at all, but she and I are so close it was just impossible not to share this with her. She did not react well. She was very upset, very concerned that I won't survive. She started saying something and then stopped herself, I am pretty sure she was going to ask me to please consider an abortion. [Which she knows I would never do, which is why she stopped herself].
A friend that I know through a Preeclampsia support group also contacted me this week. She contacted me with the suggestion that I stop taking the progesterone [I have had to take progesterone with almost all of my pregnancies or I miscarry]. She made the point that if my placenta was faulty [which it always is with every baby - this is what most directly leads to my preeclampsia], then the progesterone would give it "just enough help" to get it implanted and then later in the pregnancy it would cause me to develop PE again and be at severe risk of injury and death.
But of course, stopping the progesterone means almost certain death for my baby. And there is no way I will do that. I know that this friend is speaking only out of concern - she knows how bad this may be. She knows how close things were last time. She is speaking out of concern for my life.
But the fact is, I will never trade my baby's life for my own. No matter what. I won't stop taking progesterone and compromise my baby's life any more than I would take a knife and slit the throat of my 9 year old if Satan showed up on my doorstep and offered me 50 more years of perfect health if I did. Both of these children are just as important - the one we can see and the one we can't. And each of their lives is worth more than my own in my opinion.
I am not stupid. At least in the sense of understanding exactly what the risks are - I do.
Many people might argue that I AM stupid for becoming pregnant again, however accidentally. But we were trying to follow the teachings of the Church. I cannot feel stupid for doing that.
My husband and I have been arguing about this for the last 3 months. [Well, honestly for the last year]. He really wants to seek a permanent solution to our "hyper fertility". I understand him. I understand why he feels this way. He is very concerned that I will die - he is full of fear [and this is not illogical]. He would already have taken these steps if not for my strenuous protests, and I think at this point that he will take these steps regardless of my feelings.
But the very idea breaks my heart. Practically speaking, I can understand the sanity of his choice. Spiritually speaking, it is eating me up. I have strived for the last 11 years to live my life in complete obedience to the Will of God [and failing miserably, but always trying my best].
I hope that this baby lives. I want this baby SO MUCH now that it exists [planned or not!]
I hope that I live.
I hope that one day my husband holds this child in his arms, looks me in the eyes, and thinks "Gosh, I'm so glad she was right!"
I hope one day my sister is able to give this child a piggy back ride and think "Oh, thank God for this little miracle!"
But this may not be so. The Will of God is not always gentle, not always shiny and happy. It may be His Will that I am to die with this birth. I hope this is not His Will, but part of accepting His Will is accepting it no matter WHAT.
If He does decide to take me in childbirth, then I can only trust to His Divine Mercy that he will care for my children and my husband. There are many notable Saints who lost their mothers at a young age [St. Therese and John Paul the Great come immediately to mind] and there are many men who managed to grow in holiness while raising their children alone [St. Therese's father comes to mind as one...he is now a Blessed]. I can only pray that this will be the fate of my children and my husband if they are without me.
My task for this Lent is to come to peace with the Will of God. No matter what. In all circumstances. My task is to leave my fear behind and grow in Trust - until I can truthfully say, with no reservation, "I Ain't Afraid of Dying."
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
What We Did on Fat Tuesday
Well, our day started at 5:30am when we had to get up to drive DH to the bus stop [his car is having trouble, we think all is well as of tonight though].
This led to the children being insane, exhausted monster children all day, except for THE BOY who always gets up between 5-5:30. This is normal for him [which I think is just sick really. LOL!]
BUT, in spite of the "Mortal Kombat Death Match" that went on and on at my house today, we still managed to get some pretty constructive Fat Tuesday stuff done AND we got school done. That has to count as a good day!
We made two "Crowns of Thorns" [an idea I got from Melanie last year]. That was pretty cool. We are doing it a bit differently though, we made two crowns of thorns and then put a zillion toothpicks in because I wanted the kids to *earn* the toothpicks out of the crown - they get to remove a toothpick for each sacrifice or good deed they do during Lent with the end result that they are supposed to have all toothpicks removed by Easter. At that point we plan to decorate the Crowns with flowers and put candles inside them and turn them into "Happy Easter" decorations. Since we have 4 kids participating, I thought it would take at least 2 crowns [and a zillion toothpicks :) ] to make this enough of a challenge.
Then, we made cake for Fat Tuesday. Monkey1 had a chocolate cake recipe from the WWII era [using no butter or eggs because of rationing] that she has been dying to make. So, we made it. And it didn't taste bad for a cake made without butter or eggs, it was really pretty good. Then The Boy said "But I don't like Chocolate cake", which is true, so I made a massive pound cake for him. It had [literally] a pound of butter and six eggs. So much for rationing I guess LOL! It was really amazingly delicious though, and both cakes made worthy Fat Tuesday treats.
Monkey1 made a large purple foam cross yesterday at Little Flowers and they put a bunch of holes in the Cross with a nail. Then they were all given a little bag of foam sticky hearts and every time they do a good deed during Lent they get to put a heart sticker on the Cross over one of the nail holes - with the objective being that they will have the whole Cross covered with hearts by Easter. I thought it was quite a clever idea! This is a little redundant I guess with the crown of thorns we were making, but I didn't know about this project until after I had already planned the crowns... and the kids are LOVING the sticker idea on the Cross - they managed to earn several heart stickers today even whilst being possessed by the demons of sleep deprivation!
And last but not least, we put together a list of people we know and we put each of their names on a teeny piece of paper [an idea taken from Totus Tuus] and put them all in a little box. [Actually, a very funny box made of a hollow cardboard baby stacking block - the children have destroyed all my baskets!]. Each morning each child will draw a name, and we will pray and sacrifice for that person [or those 4 people actually] for that day. The kids got really excited about coming up with all the people they wanted to pray for!
Here is Monkey4 holding one of the finished Crowns of Thorns:
This is a close up of one of the finished Crowns of Thorns:
Here is how they are placed on the mantle, flanking our Home Enthronement statues of The Sacred and Immaculate Hearts:
Here is Monkey4 just being a cutie:
This is the "box" with all the names of people we plan to pray for. It is sitting next to "Stitches", the red Holy bear that Monkey3 got from the ER the day she had to have her head stitched up. Stitches has been blessed on the Feast of St. Francis and everything. So, Monkey3 feels strongly that Stitches must sit up on our Mantle along with all our other Holy Items. LOL! [He does look cute guarding our cartoon box of prayer intentions!]
And these are the names. The kids really came up with a BUNCH!
Anyway, I wish you all a most Holy and Blessed Lent and a very spiritually fruitful Ash Wednesday tomorrow.
God bless you!
This led to the children being insane, exhausted monster children all day, except for THE BOY who always gets up between 5-5:30. This is normal for him [which I think is just sick really. LOL!]
BUT, in spite of the "Mortal Kombat Death Match" that went on and on at my house today, we still managed to get some pretty constructive Fat Tuesday stuff done AND we got school done. That has to count as a good day!
We made two "Crowns of Thorns" [an idea I got from Melanie last year]. That was pretty cool. We are doing it a bit differently though, we made two crowns of thorns and then put a zillion toothpicks in because I wanted the kids to *earn* the toothpicks out of the crown - they get to remove a toothpick for each sacrifice or good deed they do during Lent with the end result that they are supposed to have all toothpicks removed by Easter. At that point we plan to decorate the Crowns with flowers and put candles inside them and turn them into "Happy Easter" decorations. Since we have 4 kids participating, I thought it would take at least 2 crowns [and a zillion toothpicks :) ] to make this enough of a challenge.
Then, we made cake for Fat Tuesday. Monkey1 had a chocolate cake recipe from the WWII era [using no butter or eggs because of rationing] that she has been dying to make. So, we made it. And it didn't taste bad for a cake made without butter or eggs, it was really pretty good. Then The Boy said "But I don't like Chocolate cake", which is true, so I made a massive pound cake for him. It had [literally] a pound of butter and six eggs. So much for rationing I guess LOL! It was really amazingly delicious though, and both cakes made worthy Fat Tuesday treats.
Monkey1 made a large purple foam cross yesterday at Little Flowers and they put a bunch of holes in the Cross with a nail. Then they were all given a little bag of foam sticky hearts and every time they do a good deed during Lent they get to put a heart sticker on the Cross over one of the nail holes - with the objective being that they will have the whole Cross covered with hearts by Easter. I thought it was quite a clever idea! This is a little redundant I guess with the crown of thorns we were making, but I didn't know about this project until after I had already planned the crowns... and the kids are LOVING the sticker idea on the Cross - they managed to earn several heart stickers today even whilst being possessed by the demons of sleep deprivation!
And last but not least, we put together a list of people we know and we put each of their names on a teeny piece of paper [an idea taken from Totus Tuus] and put them all in a little box. [Actually, a very funny box made of a hollow cardboard baby stacking block - the children have destroyed all my baskets!]. Each morning each child will draw a name, and we will pray and sacrifice for that person [or those 4 people actually] for that day. The kids got really excited about coming up with all the people they wanted to pray for!
Here is Monkey4 holding one of the finished Crowns of Thorns:
This is a close up of one of the finished Crowns of Thorns:
Here is how they are placed on the mantle, flanking our Home Enthronement statues of The Sacred and Immaculate Hearts:
Here is Monkey4 just being a cutie:
This is the "box" with all the names of people we plan to pray for. It is sitting next to "Stitches", the red Holy bear that Monkey3 got from the ER the day she had to have her head stitched up. Stitches has been blessed on the Feast of St. Francis and everything. So, Monkey3 feels strongly that Stitches must sit up on our Mantle along with all our other Holy Items. LOL! [He does look cute guarding our cartoon box of prayer intentions!]
And these are the names. The kids really came up with a BUNCH!
Anyway, I wish you all a most Holy and Blessed Lent and a very spiritually fruitful Ash Wednesday tomorrow.
God bless you!
The Internet and Human Companionship
I've been struggling lately with what place my internet habit should really hold in my life. I belong to a Catholic Mothers Email list, a low volume national homeschool list, a local homeschool list, and I am active at the forums at the Preeclampsia Foundation.
I probably spend an hour [and some days maybe even two, broken out over the day] on the computer, participating in these groups. Until today, I have always felt very guilty about this.
But these groups have been very important in my life. These are the "friends" I have [and I do consider many of them true friends, some of them I have known for 5 or more years now "online"]. I ask these women for advice, I share my experience and advice with them, we share our joys and our sorrows, what worked for us and what didn't, our great ideas and our great failures. I find that when I try to cut back on my computer time, I start to feel very isolated and very, very alone. It does NOT improve my mothering ability, but to the contrary, makes me grouchy and out of sorts.
These groups of like minded mothers are extremely important to me. And I have felt guilty over that for years now - I have felt that if I were really a good Catholic, I would stop getting on the computer at all and I would use that time to pray. [I certainly do need to add more prayer time to my life, but I am starting to believe that there can be balance....]
Today I read this at the "Praying for Grace" blog, and I thought it was an excellent point. You should read her post, but to sum up, she says that in generations past, women were surrounded by like minded women. When they went out to their clothes line to do the laundry, they could speak to their neighbors and get the support and companionship they needed. We, in our era, are extremely isolated. Most of us live in neighborhoods where we are the "freaks" [I do - even though I LOVE my neighborhood!] and we live solitude, seperated often from those who share our ideas and our values. She says that we need the web today to seek out others of like mind and values to get the support we need to be the people God calls us to be.
I thought that was actually brilliant. I had never considered this before - but she is really right. In ages past, women had fellowship with other women in their village or neighborhood. They had the support of their extended families very close by, and the families shared values. They had their sisters, their friends, their fellow believers all around them. When they went to the market or went to the well to fill water containers or did anything at all, they met others with whom they could converse and share life. [There were obvious exceptions, such as the pioneers who moved hundreds of miles from anyone they knew - and started this whole social isolation thing!]. But in general, people were surrounded by those who could support them in the lives they were living.
We don't have that any more.
I am fortunate in that I have several excellent homeschooling friends locally - but I hardly ever see them. Isn't that strange?
My one friend that I saw frequently had to move a few months back, and the friends who remain, I just almost never see in person. We may talk on the phone [though that is hard with 5 kids screaming in the background] or we may keep in touch via email... but we see each other rarely. I might see one of my friends in passing at Choir, or if we are all fortunate enough to make a park day with the homeschool group . Another friend I might see once or twice a year when we have each others families over for dinner... another friend I may see every 2-3 months when we get together...
But in general, I certainly have no friend or neighbor that I talk to on a daily basis and that I see in person frequently through the week. Friends or no, the truth is that I am relatively isolated most of the time. And I don't think I am odd - I think that is so common.
Human beings are social animals, and in a society that has broken down almost all the "normal" historical support systems [extended family in close proximity, support networks physically nearby...], I think it is unsurprising that many of us turn to people we may never meet in real life for companionship and support. What alternative do we have? [especially for an extrovert like me who goes nuts if I don't get to talk to other grownups on a pretty frequent basis].
I have decided to put my guilt about my internet usage away and to give myself permission to be online daily [with reasonable restrictions of course :) ]. I am also realizing that I really long to see my "real life" friends more frequently - I am going to be more active in trying to get together with the people I really enjoy on a more frequent basis. I need to put effort in to making that happen.
So... just wanted to share my thoughts on the subject!
I probably spend an hour [and some days maybe even two, broken out over the day] on the computer, participating in these groups. Until today, I have always felt very guilty about this.
But these groups have been very important in my life. These are the "friends" I have [and I do consider many of them true friends, some of them I have known for 5 or more years now "online"]. I ask these women for advice, I share my experience and advice with them, we share our joys and our sorrows, what worked for us and what didn't, our great ideas and our great failures. I find that when I try to cut back on my computer time, I start to feel very isolated and very, very alone. It does NOT improve my mothering ability, but to the contrary, makes me grouchy and out of sorts.
These groups of like minded mothers are extremely important to me. And I have felt guilty over that for years now - I have felt that if I were really a good Catholic, I would stop getting on the computer at all and I would use that time to pray. [I certainly do need to add more prayer time to my life, but I am starting to believe that there can be balance....]
Today I read this at the "Praying for Grace" blog, and I thought it was an excellent point. You should read her post, but to sum up, she says that in generations past, women were surrounded by like minded women. When they went out to their clothes line to do the laundry, they could speak to their neighbors and get the support and companionship they needed. We, in our era, are extremely isolated. Most of us live in neighborhoods where we are the "freaks" [I do - even though I LOVE my neighborhood!] and we live solitude, seperated often from those who share our ideas and our values. She says that we need the web today to seek out others of like mind and values to get the support we need to be the people God calls us to be.
I thought that was actually brilliant. I had never considered this before - but she is really right. In ages past, women had fellowship with other women in their village or neighborhood. They had the support of their extended families very close by, and the families shared values. They had their sisters, their friends, their fellow believers all around them. When they went to the market or went to the well to fill water containers or did anything at all, they met others with whom they could converse and share life. [There were obvious exceptions, such as the pioneers who moved hundreds of miles from anyone they knew - and started this whole social isolation thing!]. But in general, people were surrounded by those who could support them in the lives they were living.
We don't have that any more.
I am fortunate in that I have several excellent homeschooling friends locally - but I hardly ever see them. Isn't that strange?
My one friend that I saw frequently had to move a few months back, and the friends who remain, I just almost never see in person. We may talk on the phone [though that is hard with 5 kids screaming in the background] or we may keep in touch via email... but we see each other rarely. I might see one of my friends in passing at Choir, or if we are all fortunate enough to make a park day with the homeschool group . Another friend I might see once or twice a year when we have each others families over for dinner... another friend I may see every 2-3 months when we get together...
But in general, I certainly have no friend or neighbor that I talk to on a daily basis and that I see in person frequently through the week. Friends or no, the truth is that I am relatively isolated most of the time. And I don't think I am odd - I think that is so common.
Human beings are social animals, and in a society that has broken down almost all the "normal" historical support systems [extended family in close proximity, support networks physically nearby...], I think it is unsurprising that many of us turn to people we may never meet in real life for companionship and support. What alternative do we have? [especially for an extrovert like me who goes nuts if I don't get to talk to other grownups on a pretty frequent basis].
I have decided to put my guilt about my internet usage away and to give myself permission to be online daily [with reasonable restrictions of course :) ]. I am also realizing that I really long to see my "real life" friends more frequently - I am going to be more active in trying to get together with the people I really enjoy on a more frequent basis. I need to put effort in to making that happen.
So... just wanted to share my thoughts on the subject!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Lent
So, we are preparing for Lent [though I'm still in shock about how early it is happening this year LOL!]. DH and I sat the kids down this afternoon for a family meeting / discussion of Lent and what we plan to do. We discussed what Lent is, what it means, why we give things up and add things, etc. We also talked about how they weren't old enough to be required to make these sacrifices, but they could if they wanted too. They ALL chose to [which is awesome]! So, then each of us took turns telling what we are planning to do for Lent.
Monkey1 [9yo] is drinking only water and giving up chocolate. [The kids and I are all saying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy together each day at 3pm for Lent, so that is the thing we are "adding"].
Monkey2 [6yo] is giving up all video games [this is a HUGE sacrifice on his part - I was truly impressed!]
Monkey3 [4yo] is giving up candy.
Then we asked Monkey4 [2yo]:
Me: "What are you giving up for Lent Monkey4?"
Monkey4: "My Baby" [this means Monkey5, in case you don't know, and that is her *favorite* thing LOL!]
Me: "You want to give up your baby? Do you want Mama to go ahead and sell her to the Gypsies?"
Monkey4: "Yeah...Give away my Baby."
This is funny because she really IS, in her very sincere 2yo way, trying to give up that which she loves the most. I was touched. She finally agreed that it would be OK if we kept the baby and she would give up candy with her big sister instead.
Dh and I have also decided to read the Bible for a half hour every day as well. He is giving up coffee and I am giving up coke. [I bet our house is going to be really grouchy for a few days....;) ]
In addition, I am committing to read a little bit of some spiritual book each day - even if only one page. I've ordered a few books, including a couple of Saint Biographies I've really been longing to read. I'm looking forward to that.
Anyway, so those are our Lenten Preparations. We also plan to do the "pray for people" thing that I found on the totus tuus blog.
I am looking for other ideas, especially for the kids. Anybody have any great plans to share?
Monkey1 [9yo] is drinking only water and giving up chocolate. [The kids and I are all saying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy together each day at 3pm for Lent, so that is the thing we are "adding"].
Monkey2 [6yo] is giving up all video games [this is a HUGE sacrifice on his part - I was truly impressed!]
Monkey3 [4yo] is giving up candy.
Then we asked Monkey4 [2yo]:
Me: "What are you giving up for Lent Monkey4?"
Monkey4: "My Baby" [this means Monkey5, in case you don't know, and that is her *favorite* thing LOL!]
Me: "You want to give up your baby? Do you want Mama to go ahead and sell her to the Gypsies?"
Monkey4: "Yeah...Give away my Baby."
This is funny because she really IS, in her very sincere 2yo way, trying to give up that which she loves the most. I was touched. She finally agreed that it would be OK if we kept the baby and she would give up candy with her big sister instead.
Dh and I have also decided to read the Bible for a half hour every day as well. He is giving up coffee and I am giving up coke. [I bet our house is going to be really grouchy for a few days....;) ]
In addition, I am committing to read a little bit of some spiritual book each day - even if only one page. I've ordered a few books, including a couple of Saint Biographies I've really been longing to read. I'm looking forward to that.
Anyway, so those are our Lenten Preparations. We also plan to do the "pray for people" thing that I found on the totus tuus blog.
I am looking for other ideas, especially for the kids. Anybody have any great plans to share?
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Another Silly Meme
I saw this one on Laura's blog. Why am I compelled to do these? How much useless info does anyone need about me?
1. Thai or Mexican [I love both, but doubt I could live without cheese dip LOL!]
2. bubble bath or back massage
3. boots or sandals [I think its the Marine in me... ;) ]
4. the 90% "pro-life" good chance or the 100% pro-life long shot
5. a cruise ship or a mountain cabin
6. Rome or Paris
7. Ordinary or Extraordinary [I live the extraordinary...ordinary and boring would be nice for a change!]
8. Rosary or Stations [My favorite of all being the Chaplet of Divine Mercy though]
9. surf or hang glide [Neither, when I want to live dangerously I take all 5 of my kids to go stand in line at a government office without feeding them lunch first.]
10. Regal Cinemas or Netflix
11. sweet or salty [This answer is totally mood dependent... LOL!]
12. pen or pencil [I like both]
13. how-to book or fantasy novel [Slightly more likely to read a how to book, but a good [decent] fantasy novel would be awesome as well!]
14. crossword or sudoku [What? Who has time to do stuff like this?!!!]
15. lose a leg or lose your sight
16. North or South [I like living somewhere where people talk to you wherever you go and are always friendly. It freaks me out to go up north where nobody looks or speaks to any one...but Laura had a good point about those cockroaches LOL!]
17. a power outage at home or a dead car battery at Costco
18. classic rock or country
19. wool or linen [being extremely allergic to wool - found this out when I was in the Marine Corps. Did you know all MC dress uniforms are made of wool? LOL!]
20. lots of good friends or a few great friends [I pretty much like all kinds of friends though....]
21. soup or salad [mmmm...soup....is there anything in the world more comforting on a cold, wet day?]
22. Merlot or Chardonnay [I don't drink any more, but if I WERE gonna drink, it would be a nice Cabernet.]
23. Picasso or Da Vinci
24. charades or trivial pursuit
25. Evangelical Protestantism or Orthodox Judaism [Orthodox Jews are still keeping the original Covenant with God. Plus they are amazingly Holy people...]
26. stone age or dark age
27. Steven Spielberg or Ken Burns
28. Thermopylae or Alamo
[I like either of those really. Very impressive to see what humans are willing to sacrifice when their backs are to the wall...]
29. Big Foot or Loch Ness Monster [I always wanted to visit Scotland....]
30. babies or teenagers [Not having any teenagers yet, I don't think I can give a fair answer to that question. :) ]
Tag - you are IT!
1. Thai or Mexican [I love both, but doubt I could live without cheese dip LOL!]
2. bubble bath or back massage
3. boots or sandals [I think its the Marine in me... ;) ]
4. the 90% "pro-life" good chance or the 100% pro-life long shot
5. a cruise ship or a mountain cabin
6. Rome or Paris
7. Ordinary or Extraordinary [I live the extraordinary...ordinary and boring would be nice for a change!]
8. Rosary or Stations [My favorite of all being the Chaplet of Divine Mercy though]
9. surf or hang glide [Neither, when I want to live dangerously I take all 5 of my kids to go stand in line at a government office without feeding them lunch first.]
10. Regal Cinemas or Netflix
11. sweet or salty [This answer is totally mood dependent... LOL!]
12. pen or pencil [I like both]
13. how-to book or fantasy novel [Slightly more likely to read a how to book, but a good [decent] fantasy novel would be awesome as well!]
14. crossword or sudoku [What? Who has time to do stuff like this?!!!]
15. lose a leg or lose your sight
16. North or South [I like living somewhere where people talk to you wherever you go and are always friendly. It freaks me out to go up north where nobody looks or speaks to any one...but Laura had a good point about those cockroaches LOL!]
17. a power outage at home or a dead car battery at Costco
18. classic rock or country
19. wool or linen [being extremely allergic to wool - found this out when I was in the Marine Corps. Did you know all MC dress uniforms are made of wool? LOL!]
20. lots of good friends or a few great friends [I pretty much like all kinds of friends though....]
21. soup or salad [mmmm...soup....is there anything in the world more comforting on a cold, wet day?]
22. Merlot or Chardonnay [I don't drink any more, but if I WERE gonna drink, it would be a nice Cabernet.]
23. Picasso or Da Vinci
24. charades or trivial pursuit
25. Evangelical Protestantism or Orthodox Judaism [Orthodox Jews are still keeping the original Covenant with God. Plus they are amazingly Holy people...]
26. stone age or dark age
27. Steven Spielberg or Ken Burns
28. Thermopylae or Alamo
[I like either of those really. Very impressive to see what humans are willing to sacrifice when their backs are to the wall...]
29. Big Foot or Loch Ness Monster [I always wanted to visit Scotland....]
30. babies or teenagers [Not having any teenagers yet, I don't think I can give a fair answer to that question. :) ]
Tag - you are IT!
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Dumbest Question Yet....
OK, I've gotten a LOT of stupid questions about having "all those kids" over the years and mostly I just smile and go about my merry life.
But tonight, I think I had the dumbest one yet, so I'll share here. :)
I was registering Monkey4 for preschool at our Church tonight [where all 3 of the older monkeys have gone now - I LOVE our preschool!].
I was standing in line waiting and waiting to register [why we have to do it like that I don't know....] and chatting with the other moms around me, a couple of whom I've known for several years.
We were chatting about which kid we were enrolling now and I made the comment that this would be our seventh year at the preschool with no end in sight. [One of the other moms has been there for that long too!].
A mom I did not know who was standing there with us looks at me and says:
"HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?!!!"
And I said "Five".
And she looks at me with her mouth hanging open in shock [standing in our CATHOLIC Church mind you!] for a few seconds and then says:
[wait for it....]
"Are they all yours?"
"Um...yeah?" [I mean, whaddaya say to that?]
Then I said "Well, we found a couple of them at Publix, but the others are mine" and the other moms crack up [they had 3 and 4 kids respectively].
So, when I came home I was laughing and telling my husband about it, and he came up with a much funnier response....
"No they aren't. Every time we go to Chuck E. Cheese more kids just get in our van!"
[Obviously my children were not WITH me when she asked, otherwise she would have taken one look at them and KNOWN they all came from the exact same DNA. The little clones. LOL!]
But tonight, I think I had the dumbest one yet, so I'll share here. :)
I was registering Monkey4 for preschool at our Church tonight [where all 3 of the older monkeys have gone now - I LOVE our preschool!].
I was standing in line waiting and waiting to register [why we have to do it like that I don't know....] and chatting with the other moms around me, a couple of whom I've known for several years.
We were chatting about which kid we were enrolling now and I made the comment that this would be our seventh year at the preschool with no end in sight. [One of the other moms has been there for that long too!].
A mom I did not know who was standing there with us looks at me and says:
"HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?!!!"
And I said "Five".
And she looks at me with her mouth hanging open in shock [standing in our CATHOLIC Church mind you!] for a few seconds and then says:
[wait for it....]
"Are they all yours?"
"Um...yeah?" [I mean, whaddaya say to that?]
Then I said "Well, we found a couple of them at Publix, but the others are mine" and the other moms crack up [they had 3 and 4 kids respectively].
So, when I came home I was laughing and telling my husband about it, and he came up with a much funnier response....
"No they aren't. Every time we go to Chuck E. Cheese more kids just get in our van!"
[Obviously my children were not WITH me when she asked, otherwise she would have taken one look at them and KNOWN they all came from the exact same DNA. The little clones. LOL!]
Big News
I apologize for being lax in posting this week. I had a yucky painful recovery from the kidney stone lithotripsy last week [I finally do feel better, thank you all who asked!]. Then we got some "big news" this week too.
I found out I am pregnant.
[I found out two days ago, it has taken me 2 days to stop panicking enough to post about it LOL!].
This is definitely a "surprise". I wanted more children but we had decided definitely NOT to have any more because of my last pregnancy / Eclamptic seizure and because of my husband's health problems. We were following Church teaching but attempting to be very careful w/ NFP.
So....wow. I am both terrified and excited all at the same time. I am very concerned about the health of the baby, because I had all that radiation and the surgery because of the kidney stones last week [and I had NO IDEA it was even possible I could be pregnant ... or of course I would have postponed all treatment. ]
I have an OB appointment [with the OB I used for Monkeys2, 3, & 4 - not the ones I used last time who were responsible for my "near death experience"] on Monday to check on the baby. I will be 5 weeks along by then.
We went ahead and told the kids so they could be praying for the baby's health. I have a history of early miscarriage, so they know the baby may not make it, but their prayers are so powerful I wanted to get them praying!
The kids are *ecstatic*. I expected them to be afraid after what happened last time, but they aren't afraid at all. They are over joyed. [Although my oldest had to confirm that I would have the baby at Kennestone and NOT at Northside this time. Once she established that, she was fine! LOL!]
Everyone is hoping for a boy. I feel guilty saying that, and I *adore* girls so I will be overjoyed no matter what, but everyone [even Monkey1 who has ALWAYS prayed for girl babies] has decided we need a boy for Monkey2. Monkey2 said that he doesn't mind if this baby is a girl, but he wants me to "keep having babies until we get another boy". Since this is *definitely* his last chance for a brother, it NEEDS to be a boy. ;)
Plus we are running out of girl names. :D
I already started with some of that "unique" morning sickness feeling today, so I consider that a good sign. I sure hope and pray that the baby makes it and that nothing I stupidly did with the surgery harmed the baby.
My biggest task at hand is to find an OB practice that will be willing to *agressively* handle my high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. In the past I have always looked for the "least interventive" practice I could get - always dreaming about that natural, unmedicated birth I so craved [and never got - just 5 long, awful pitocin inductions]. Which, with my history is just STUPID. LOL!
This time around, I am looking for the doctor who is willing to schedule a Cesarean at 34 or 35 weeks if necessary - one who will NOT hesitate to get the baby delivered [hopefully not via Cesarean obviously] but who is willing to do whatever intervention is *needed* as early as it becomes necessary.
IF things go pretty much like they did last time, and IF I have an OB who is *proactive*, who is knowledgeable about PE, and who is actually paying attention and gives a darn, I should be OK. If not, I'll probably be dead.
Let us pray then for a good OB, led by the Lord's own hand. ;)
In fact, I would like to ask you all to pray for 1) the baby's health and that s/he makes it 2) for my husband's health and stability 3) for my health that I survive the delivery [preferably with no additional brain damage] and 4) for me to find an excellent OB who is the perfect one to manage my care.
God bless you!
Oh, and here are some pics from our trip to Fernbank Science Museum last week:
[See, who knew there was a SIXTH little monkey hiding in this picture above?! ;) ]
After the museum, we took the kids to "The Varsity", which was a huge treat for them. [Poor babies NEVER get to eat horrible greasy food like that - I'm such a mean mama! LOL!]
I found out I am pregnant.
[I found out two days ago, it has taken me 2 days to stop panicking enough to post about it LOL!].
This is definitely a "surprise". I wanted more children but we had decided definitely NOT to have any more because of my last pregnancy / Eclamptic seizure and because of my husband's health problems. We were following Church teaching but attempting to be very careful w/ NFP.
So....wow. I am both terrified and excited all at the same time. I am very concerned about the health of the baby, because I had all that radiation and the surgery because of the kidney stones last week [and I had NO IDEA it was even possible I could be pregnant ... or of course I would have postponed all treatment. ]
I have an OB appointment [with the OB I used for Monkeys2, 3, & 4 - not the ones I used last time who were responsible for my "near death experience"] on Monday to check on the baby. I will be 5 weeks along by then.
We went ahead and told the kids so they could be praying for the baby's health. I have a history of early miscarriage, so they know the baby may not make it, but their prayers are so powerful I wanted to get them praying!
The kids are *ecstatic*. I expected them to be afraid after what happened last time, but they aren't afraid at all. They are over joyed. [Although my oldest had to confirm that I would have the baby at Kennestone and NOT at Northside this time. Once she established that, she was fine! LOL!]
Everyone is hoping for a boy. I feel guilty saying that, and I *adore* girls so I will be overjoyed no matter what, but everyone [even Monkey1 who has ALWAYS prayed for girl babies] has decided we need a boy for Monkey2. Monkey2 said that he doesn't mind if this baby is a girl, but he wants me to "keep having babies until we get another boy". Since this is *definitely* his last chance for a brother, it NEEDS to be a boy. ;)
Plus we are running out of girl names. :D
I already started with some of that "unique" morning sickness feeling today, so I consider that a good sign. I sure hope and pray that the baby makes it and that nothing I stupidly did with the surgery harmed the baby.
My biggest task at hand is to find an OB practice that will be willing to *agressively* handle my high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. In the past I have always looked for the "least interventive" practice I could get - always dreaming about that natural, unmedicated birth I so craved [and never got - just 5 long, awful pitocin inductions]. Which, with my history is just STUPID. LOL!
This time around, I am looking for the doctor who is willing to schedule a Cesarean at 34 or 35 weeks if necessary - one who will NOT hesitate to get the baby delivered [hopefully not via Cesarean obviously] but who is willing to do whatever intervention is *needed* as early as it becomes necessary.
IF things go pretty much like they did last time, and IF I have an OB who is *proactive*, who is knowledgeable about PE, and who is actually paying attention and gives a darn, I should be OK. If not, I'll probably be dead.
Let us pray then for a good OB, led by the Lord's own hand. ;)
In fact, I would like to ask you all to pray for 1) the baby's health and that s/he makes it 2) for my husband's health and stability 3) for my health that I survive the delivery [preferably with no additional brain damage] and 4) for me to find an excellent OB who is the perfect one to manage my care.
God bless you!
Oh, and here are some pics from our trip to Fernbank Science Museum last week:
[See, who knew there was a SIXTH little monkey hiding in this picture above?! ;) ]
After the museum, we took the kids to "The Varsity", which was a huge treat for them. [Poor babies NEVER get to eat horrible greasy food like that - I'm such a mean mama! LOL!]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)