I've been reading on several blogs I frequent about the uproar and scandal involving Fr. Francis Mary from EWTN. Everyone seems very upset with him and very distraught over what has happened.
Here is the text of the letter that was read on EWTN:
"Dear Family Regretfully, I have a message that does not come without significant pain to both you and me. I have to tell you in all honesty and truth, that I have been personally involved with helping a widow and her struggling family. Over the course of time, the mother and I have grown very close. As a result, I am compelled to take some time off to prayerfully and honestly discern my future. I am truly sorry of the impact this may have on so many. I am not unaware of the gravity and magnitude of the situation, yet after much wise counsel, it is really something that I must deal with now for the good of all. With that said, it is best that I deal with it away from EWTN. Therefore, I have asked for and graciously been granted some extended time to prayerfully discern my vocation. To those who are part of the EWTN family locally, and others throughout the world, especially all those who have supported me so faithfully in my priestly vocation and ministry here on Life on the Rock, I sincerely apologize. I ask for your prayers and understanding during this time that is so very difficult, but yet so very necessary. Please lift me up in your humble prayers to Jesus through Mary, our Mother, in Grace and Mercy.
Fr Francis Mary, MFVA"
Then, apparently this was the commentary added by the Priest who read the letter:
"Fr Anthony Mary then said "Brothers and Sisters of our EWTN family, this is a time in which Fr Francis and all involved are in great need of your prayers and your support as our family. Always remember that no one is beyond the power of God's Mercy or Redemption. And on Fr's behalf, I humbly ask that you pray for him. God bless you."
I guess I don't understand. I mean, I can see that he is apparently saying that he has fallen in love with this widow he has been working with and that now he must take time to prayerfully discern his vocation. Possibly there is some impropriety behind the scenes that would necessitate "God's Mercy and Redemption" - it does not say so however.
Either way, I don't understand why everyone is so upset. It seems to me that Fr. Francis Mary is doing the honorable thing - stepping back and go away to pray and discern what God is calling him to. He's not secretly having an ongoing affair - it sounds as if his intentions are honorable and if he discerns that the priesthood is not his calling, he will make honorable moves to "do right by" the widow in question. He isn't sleeping with another man's wife or having a homosexual affair or... anything that should cause scandal as far as I can tell...
Maybe I can identify with him more than most, having had to prayerfully discern my own vocation so recently - whether I was called to stand by my marriage vows or not.
We are human beings and ALL of us are fallible. If Father is in love with this woman and feels that he can no longer be a Priest - well, God bless him. He surely gave us so much good and so much of himself. Can we not pray for him without judgment and let him work it out with God?
If he does discern that he is no longer called to the Priesthood and that instead he is called to marry this widow and care for her - my goodness. God bless them. I hope they are happy.
I just don't understand the uproar I guess. Several years back when a certain famous Catholic husband and father abandoned his wife and four children in a very spectacularly dramatic and scandalous way - THAT I understood. That was hurtful to the whole body of Christ.
But I don't understand an honest and honorable man trying to discern what is truly his calling being so scandalous to people... but maybe I'm missing something.
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6 comments:
I'm not familiar with the situation, but my guess is that he is considering leaving his "wife" -the church - for another woman. It's more than just deciding you don't like a job anymore and want a change - it's breaking a sacred vow. Same as if you decided to "prayerfully consider" leaving your husband and family to join a convent, or if your husband were to decide he didn't want to be married to you anymore...
Anyone who ever trusted or looked up to him as a priest is hurt by this because it calls into question everything you knew/know about him.
And every sin we commit is hurtful to the whole body of Christ - even the little ones.
Very well stated.
We do not know the whole story, and, I don't think we should.
Anyway, he and the whole fabulous staff and religious members of EWTN are in our prayers. They've done a whole heap of good and helped me in my personal reversion and ongoing conversion.
Thanks for covering this topic with sense and charity. I hope this doesn't become a mountain of scandal, when it could just be a molehill for Fr. Francis Mary to discern.
Thanks again, and God Bless you!
Hey! You don't have to post this comment, but I speak from sort of "personal" experience when I tell you about this...
I think that the priest should not have even been counciling the woman once he had one, teeny ounce of attraction toward her. He should have stepped away THEN (not publicly) so as to avoid scandal to himself, her, her family, and EVERYONE ELSE. A good friend of my husband and his siblings all suffered greatly when a priest in the same position was counciling his mom and step-dad and has been now living in sin with her for the past 16 years. The parish where he serves as the "music minister" chooses to close their eyes to the situation but all of that woman's 4 have suffered (divorces, loss of faith, drugs, sinful behavior, no guidance!) as a result of their deception (she's the "housekeeper, duh...). When he first "stepped away" everyone knew what it was about but said that he was just "going on sabbatical" (because no one wants to be accusing their priest) and cried because he was such a much loved priest. What he actually did was to get his masters degree in some social work then re-appear as the current music minister about 8 years later or so. How can priests council people to "be faithful to their vocation" and then put themselves in a near occasion of sin position? Love-shmove...love isn't something you just "fall into"! You PUT yourself there and work hard to show love and commitment. This whole thing makes that parish look like a bunch of dupes and the priest has been investigated (changes the office into a second bedroom for appearances during the investigation) but it's so easy to make it look like every thing is A-OK. He is worried he'll lose his pension if he comes forward with the truth. He's told our friend that personally (knowing that none of them are Catholic anymore and don't really care what implications his and their mother's behaviors have on the Church). Your post is the first I've heard of any of this, but it reminded me so much of that situation and the disgust it puts in my stomach, I had to say something. Please, don't post this if you don't want to!
I did a little googling after my earlier comment, and still found nothing concrete other than what was read on the air by Fr. Anthony. Still, LOTS of opinions, speculation and harsh words for Fr. Francis Mary. His brother Fr. Anthony was serious in his manner and speach, which is to be expected since he is potentially losing a "family member". It seems to say more about the authors of the comments pages than Fr. Francis.
No matter what, Fr. Francis will be a priest forever. His soul will bear the mark of a priest for all eternity. Even if he is relieved of his duties and leaves the religious order.
He is giving the kids who watch LOTR an opportunity to see a new Father or brother host the show for a while. Who knows, maybe Jeff Cavins will step back into the host position.
Sorry I wrote twice.
- Laura
Very well said, Kristin. now *that* says it all in your opening line.
Fr. cannot just stop being a priest and decide to be something else. He is a priest forever. To break the sacred vows he made is a Grave Sin. He would be damned. I'm sorry, but it's just the truth. He could never be with this woman and remain a Catholic in good standing. Perhaps he needs to leave *public life* as a priest and retreat to a monastic siutation. That is his only recourse in "discerning his vocation."
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