Reflections on Gamma Ray

I'll warn you right up front - this is a shameless, besotted new baby post. If you don't like that kind of thing, feel free to skip it. ;)

God is so good! As I was sitting up at 3am this morning feeding and watching my sweet new baby, several things occurred to me.

It occurred to me that you would think that after doing this six times that some of the awe and wonder and sheer amazement would wear off. It doesn't. Just so you know. As I sit here looking at this amazing, tiny, perfect human being, my heart almost bursts with love and happiness. She is so adorable - so perfect. So sweet. So amazing.... so completely lovable and precious.

And then, I am just awed at the amazing way God worked in all of this. How did this baby survive? Her conception shouldn't have been possible. Then she never should have made it without me being on progesterone [because I always miscarry if I'm not]. She shouldn't have made it through all the radiation I had. And the anesthesia. And then, she came through the whole pregnancy to get to the end and - geez, how did she survive that delivery?!!! Not only did I move into "severe preeclampsia" in record time ["rapid onset" they call it], but then her cord prolapsed, and, after the Section, the doctor discovered that her cord had a "true knot" in it - it was tied very tightly. My OB said she thought it was actually a good thing that everything went so wrong so early because Gemma wouldn't have survived much longer with the cord like that. If we hadn't have had to deliver when we did, there is a high liklihood that she would have been stillborn. [This is probably the reason she was extremely "quiet" the week before delivery and scaring me half to death....].

Then, my word! We joked through the whole pregnancy about how she would come out with "Super Powers" because of all the radiation, and darned if little Gamma Ray didn't! How else do we explain how well she's doing? At 34 weeks and 2 days - she breathed perfectly, and needed NO help at all. She latched right on and nursed like she'd been nursing for years [something extremely rare in a preemie of that gestation]. She had no trouble at all - the first night she had trouble maintaining her body temperature, but that was it [and that would have resolved if they'd just left her on my chest skin to skin all night - but I was so sick and in such trouble after the C-Section and blood loss that I was unable to care for her that night]. She never did see the inside of the NICU at all - I mean, the baby is truly amazing. My husband jokes that "nobody told her she's a preemie - she doesn't realize it!" and he's right! Her pediatrician said she was acting like a 37weeker, not a preemie!

And God is truly so good.

I would NEVER have had the guts to try again for another baby [even though I always said I wanted at least 6!] after Monkey5 was born and the Eclamptic Seizure and my husband's health problems and all. But I am SO glad God had other plans - I am so deliriously happy with this baby girl! She is amazing.

We all are - my husband, my children, my extended family - we are all just thrilled that she is here. Every baby should be born into a family that adores them this much - and it makes my post partum self burst in to tears to think that so many babies AREN'T born into situations where they are loved this much. Every baby deserves absolute devotion and every parent blessed to have a baby SHOULD be down on their knees thanking God for such a blessing!

Our cultural priorities are so screwed up - we see babies as "burdens" and stuff as "important". We have lost all sense of what is truly important, we have lost our sense of awe at new life. Such a sad situation.

I am just loving life these days - watching this sweet baby, learning her cute personality, watching my husband dote over her, watching my children adore her... it is all just SUCH an amazing gift.

Thank you God! Thank you so much!!!!

And now I have about nine million pictures to share [OK, I wanted to share that many, but I did restrain myself to only a dozen and a half or so LOL!].

Here is a picture showing the decels she was having from the cord prolapse:

Here is Gemma's first picture - Daddy is cutting her cord [or what was left of it after they pulled her out of the "escape hatch" they cut!]:

Here is our first picture together [see how conscious I am in this picture?! The reality is that I spent most of the first few hours after her birth fading in and out of consciousness - from blood loss and the fact that my BP would not stabilize. I kept waking up only long enough to puke!]:

Here is Gamma Ray meeting all her sisters and brother and her cousin and my brother and his girlfriend [who were SO sweet to help my parents keep the other kids while I was in the hospital for almost a week!]:

Here is Gemma meeting her aunt [my sister] who was there with us for the delivery [though not allowed into the OR at the end] and who also helped keep the kids for us during our hospital stay:
Here is Gemma with Monkey3, Monkey5, and Monkey4 and my brother's girlfriend and DH:

Here is Gemma with her Granny and Monkey2 and Monkey3 and her cousin.

My wonderful Spiritual Advisor came to the hospital and gave Gemma a blessing! So here is Gemma with Father just after receiving her first blessing:
I almost didn't include this picture because it is truly AWFUL! But gosh, it just sums up the whole experience of this birth! Don't I look like the living dead? LOL!

Here is Gemma's first diaper change:

Here are two of Gemma's "Little Mamas" - Monkey1 and Monkey5 who both just adore her!

Here is Gemma with my brother's Girlfriend:

Here is Gemma with my brother and with Monkey4 [her other "Little Mama"] and Monkey5:

Here is Gemma with her three "Little Mamas":

Here is Monkey4 with Gamma Ray!

Here is Monkey5 getting to hold "her baby" with Monkey1's help:

Here is Monkey2 with Gemma - he is so good with her!


Here is Monkey3 with Gemma - like her brother, she'd rather build things with legos than watch the baby sleep [unlike the other 3 girls LOL!], but she adores Gemma just the same:

Here is Monkey1 holding Gemma. She is *excellent* with her - very careful and very devoted.

And thus concludes Gemma's first photo shoot. :)

Thank you all, again, for your prayers - I am eternally grateful!

God bless you!!!!!