Uughh.... OK, no cute pictures or great news or fun spiritual revelations to share this week.
I am sick. I have had the worst "like the flu but not the flu" illness since last Thursday. I ran a raging high fever for 3 days straight, had to work Sunday and teach a 6 hour Lamaze class so sick I thought I'd die before I saw the end of it [couldn't get anyone to teach for me, I tried, believe me!] and I'm taking care of a house full of equally desperately ill children - all of whom [except Monkey1 and Monkey3] caught my flu thing. And pregnant mothers really SHOULD NOT have to clean up vomit out of carpets, even when their kids are sick. Its just not fair.
My blessed father came over Friday to watch the children so I could go to the doctor, and my doctor was convinced it was the flu I had, but alas, the test came back negative. She tested for strep too, just since Monkey3 had that [she is recovered now], but that was negative as well. And, of course, being pregnant, she basically said "Go home and go to bed for a few days and rest, that's all you can do". No good drugs for me.
And can we just laugh at that advice? I have no help. I have been caring for all 5 kids by myself this whole time - no matter how high my fever has been or how much pain and misery I'm in [or how sick they are].
There are moments when I really wish someone truly would just shoot me, because I don't feel like I can handle even one more thing. And with all the kids being sick this weekend/week too, I've been up all night with them. When I went to bed last night I had literally been awake for 36 straight hours and hadn't had more than about 40 minutes of sleep in a row in a week or so.
I very seldom feel overwhelmed with my children - I really don't. I enjoy the heck out of them. But when I'm this sick, I do SO wish they had an "off" button. You know? Why wouldn't a Merciful God provide such a thing to a desperately sick mother?!
And I have to ask, do any of you wheedle your Guardian Angel? My Guardian Angel must hate me. I never think to ask for its help for the big stuff - no, its the "Oh Guardian Angel, please help me! I have been awake for 36 hours, I have been holding this feverish baby for 24 hours straight, I feel like I'm going to die and I just want her to lie down and take a nap - please let her sleep, please don't let her wake up screaming the second I lay her downy head upon her mattress, oh please Guardian Angel, please!" Sometimes I think my Angel pinches the baby just out of sheer irritation at my small mindedness.
Speaking of a Mericiful God, I'm reading "Padre Pio: Man of Hope" right now. It was supposed to be uplifting Lenten reading for me. Instead, I'm finding it *horribly* depressing. Poor Padre Pio. What a life of misery and suffering... instead of inspiring me to new spiritual heights, this book is unfortunately just making me wonder "Is God just plain mean?!"
Ugh. I hope I feel better soon. I am not able to be a decent mother like this, and I am really, truly feeling at the edge of despair right now. I can't get better because I can't rest, I can't care for my children because I can't get better, I am sicker than I remember ever being and it just keeps dragging on and on... and I'm scared to death the baby didn't survive this. I ran a high fever for so long and I wasn't able to eat while I had the fever, and then there's the throwing up part. I lost a lot of weight and I'm just worried about Gamma Ray. How could *anything* survive in my body right now? Poor little thing.
On one tiny positive note, I will share that I found out that the "CSI" trick with the Vick's Salve DOES actually work. As I was attempting to scrub vomit out of my son's carpet last night, the smell just kept making me run from the room and have to vomit too. Finally, I put some Vick's under my nose, and it really did cut the smell long enough to allow me to clean it up... so, all you morning sick mamas out there take note - go buy some Vick's to have on hand just in case! LOL!
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8 comments:
Kelly, hang in there! Oh my goodness, what a terrible time you're going through right now. But this too shall pass, truly. I felt like I had to do something for you guys (even though we don't know each other!), so I just made a small donation to your "Everything for a Family with Nothing" project. And, I will pray for you all!
Vicks is also a great lip balm, decongestant (at least it opens me up enough to sleep), and I use it every time I have that tickle in the back of my throat that won't let me sleep. If you read on the jar, it says "cough suppressant" and it really does work! It's the only thing I use when I'm pregnant and sick, too!
As far as GammaRays concerned, If he's doing well on his own, he's not too concerned about you. Truly. That was what the Ultrasound Tech told me. They just don't care if you're sick, or stressed. They're in their own little world.
I asked her if that lasts until they're 21.
I kid you not, give each kid a waste basket or bucket to sit beside all day. If they get the urge... At least it's a dump in the toilet and a quick rinse with the tub tap. (Okay I only have two, but this saved me when we were all sick. And the little Monkey4 can do this.)
I really wish I could come over and give you a good couple of hours respite and some Ginger Ale.
My mom and I just read that Padre Pio book this past year and she has just been holding onto him. One of the funny, ok not at the time, story was how his angle didn't jump in and help him out when a devil was tormenting him. Pio gave him a what for.
And, St. Theresa of Avila, "It must have been very difficult to maintain a sense of balance and humour amidst the trials and tribulations Teresa of Avila underwent, but her sense of humour and wit are still remembered. Perhaps the most famous of her sayings was in response to God's "But this is how I treat my friends, Teresa." "Well, then, no wonder You have so few of them!" http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19980901/SAINTS/ST_THERESA.HTM
Your Angel loves you, he's not the one pinching the baby.
Oh, I forgot: I used to really wish for the "off" button. I would feel so guilty about that I don't feel guilty about that anymore. Sleep deprivation was the reason.
Hmmm...the crud really must be going around because I wrote a similar post on my blog today! I have found myself praying the please-please-please-Dear-God-just-let-me-get-some-sleep prayer lately, too. I really can't imagine how you are still standing with 5 kids at home and another on the way. You brave, brave woman!
I hadn't heard the Vicks thing! That would've come in handy when I was pregnant. I had gagging problems and heard (also on CSI!) that it's not possible to gag while you're smiling. So I smiled, smiled, smiled! Ha, ha.
Anyway, I hope you all feel better really soon!
Lola - The Boy had a big puke bowl by his bed...he just "didn't make it" [all over the room!]. *sigh* Bless his heart, he's gifted that way. Couldn't get the puke in the right place if his life depended on it... LOL!
Traci - if you come back by and read this, post the link to your blog. I'd love to check it out!
Kelly
M.E. - THANK YOU for the donation too! I haven't posted an update in a long time, but "EFAFWN" is alive and well and the kids are actively fundraising. We are getting ready to "write a check" in a few days in fact, the kids will be thrilled with your donation!!! AWESOME! :)
Kelly
Kelly: Have you ever heard of Chondra Pierce? I sat transfixed once in a parking lot listening to her schtick on a Christian Radio station.
She had this story about "If a southern woman says 'Bless your Heart' what she's really saying is...". For years now I can't keep a straight face when I hear that phrase.
Holy Cow, I'm getting old, so many things remind me of other things...
Once again, God Bless the Monkeys and the Catholic Mama! And please Dear Lord help them get well soon!
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