Anybody feel like giving me a spiritual kick in the behind?
I am SO off track. I am feeling a strong call these last few days to get my spiritual life back on track, I can *feel* Jesus calling me to straighten up! But I feel sort of powerless to get back in line.
What do you guys do spiritually each day?
I guess we sort of "pray" frequently, but it is becoming rote. I do a short morning prayer and offering on my own privately, and before school the kids and I pray together and do a litany of our Saints. We [obviously] pray before meals, and we pray any time we pass a cemetary for the souls of the faithful departed. We pray for ambulance drivers, fire fighters and the people they are helping any time we see or hear them go by. We have family prayers in the evening where each child has their own prayer to say [we say the "Our Father" together and then each child who is verbal starts one of these and we all join in: Hail Mary, Oh My Jesus, St. Michael the Archangel, and "May the Souls of the Faithful Departed..."]. I offer up prayers for those who have asked for us to pray - it ends up being mostly prayers for healing. I also offer up prayers of thanksgiving for the blessings in our life.
And that's it. It feels all very "habitual" and rote.
I used to read the Bible every single day, and I keep trying to get back in the habit and can't seem to. I used to pray the Rosary every day and now I almost never pray it. I used to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy daily, and I *really* want to continue that but I keep forgetting [I consider that my main "extra" devotion - the Divine Mercy]. I used to go to Eucharistic Adoration at least once a week - and now I seldom make it. I am finding it impossible to commit to an hour like I used to because of all the weirdness and chaos with our family and lack of childcare ... but I miss it terribly.
I want to get to daily Mass at least a few times a week, and I just rarely manage it.
I'm *very* upset with myself because I messed up my Divine Mercy Novena this year - after day 3 I just totally forgot to do it until it was almost over. I am so frustrated! I really REALLY wanted to complete it this year [an indulgence would be so welcome just in case things go badly with the birth]. And I totally threw away my chance and all the Grace that comes with it. I could strangle my own stupid self. :(
I have a good and holy priest who is willing to give me spiritual direction, but he is some distance from me and, again, child care is an issue. I can't seem to get to him... and I *need* his guidance.
I want to spend more time in "personal" prayer with Jesus - just talking to Him and trying to listen.
I also am very interested in developing a devotion towards the Souls in Purgatory and learning how to pray for them frequently and offer up things for their benefit. I don't even know how to begin...
Do you guys have any suggestions for me? Have any of you overcome really crazy, chaotic lives to develop a deep spirituality? Any tips or suggestions?
Thank you!
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6 comments:
I think it sounds like, given your life situation right now (5 young kids, one more on the way)that you are actually getting in quite a bit of prayer! I think mothers of young ones have a lot of very special graces from the Lord, regardless of the number of prayers they say during the day. I remember way back when, when we briefly studied Judaism, I was struck by the wisdom of that faith when it explained that men had a very large number of set prayers they were required to say each day, while women had very few. The Rabbis said that men needed constant prayer, but women get graces from God through the duties of their lives as mothers and wives, so their required prayers were much, much fewer.
Also - a couple weeks back at church, the homily talked about how there is a difference between holiness and piety. Piety is the outward expression of your faith - prayers, devotions, etc. Piety can be very important in developing holiness - but it's actually not a requirement. Plenty of very holy people are not that outwardly pious, and plenty of people that are very outwardly pious just aren't that holy or close to the Lord on the inside!
I say all this to tell you - I don't think you are searching for a pious practice, a prayer "routine" so much as you are searching for holiness. And that is an interior attitude much more than finding the right prayer to say. (Not that the right prayers can't help you be holy!) It sounds like you just need some time to be still in His presence, to hear that "still, small voice". That's probably the hardest thing to do with lots of littles!
I'm reading a good book right now - "The Basic Book of Catholic Prayer" by Lawrence Lovasik. I wish I had more insight for you from this book, but I'm only a couple chapters into it. You can borrow it when I'm done, or I can send you a symposis when I finish it!
Know that you remain in my prayers!
The way I deal with this is to concentrate on offering EVERYTHING I do up as a prayer - not just the suffering. This was the advice Father Linus gave me once when I was lamenting the neglect of my prayer life. Prayer without ceasing. Then I don't worry so much about the times I fail in "organized" prayer.
Kelly, I am so with you! We basically say the same prayers here that you do, but my Rosary and Divine Mercy prayers are few and far between now, and I want to get back to them. I have the Divine Mercy in song on a VCR tape that I bought from EWTN. I always used to play/sing it when I cleaned or prepared dinner. I think I'm going to do that again. And, it is my fault about the Novena. I was posting the prayers on the list and then with sick kids, etc., I wasn't able to finish submitting them. I'm sorry! :-( I will be reading whatever responses you get with great interest, as I want a deeper prayer life desperately, too!
Kristin - that's a great idea!
Lisa - No, it isn't your fault at all! My homeschool list also posted the novena -there was NO excuse! All my fault, believe me! I like the idea of the CD from EWTN, I will look for that!
Over the last few weeks I've been making time for myself to spend time alone meditating and studying. I get up early and do my daily sunday school lesson. I've also been spending more time in "casual prayer" I guess you could say, just talking to God and Jesus. It's helped me.
I find that whenever I go to confession the priest has something uplifting and spiritually helpful, like if I've been yelling too much "thats cuz you love them", missed mass occasionally ,etc, there are special graces as mothers, our job ,our purpose is to be present and spiritually guiding THEM, not worry about our own spirituality so much as our own spirituality comes through when we are doing our motherly thing really well, (or even when we think its going poorly,) you know what I mean! Bring kids along to confession, the priest (if he's really good) wont mind.
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