I started today by asking some of my online friends to pray for me for some very specific needs [that my children would do well with their therapist they met today for the first time, that I would find a good and decent lawyer, that I would hold it together in the evenings, among other things]. Another dear friend from our homeschool group had Mass said for our family today at 7am as well.
Today was a much better day.
I finally found a lawyer today, and I really like him. I go in Friday for my official appointment to get the paperwork done. He only does uncontested divorce so he's not trying to talk me in to "taking him to the cleaners" or anything to drag this out in court [which I've now learned is a common tactic amongst divorce lawyers - court is where they make their big bucks].
The therapy session with the kids went *great*! Their therapist is a Catholic mom and she was the sweetest, most friendly person you can imagine - the kids were *immediately* able to open up to her, and they really liked her. She talked with me a while too, and she was so sweet and helpful.
We will be going back again next week, but Monkey1 in particular was really helped. The therapist told me afterwards what a very mature, sweet girl she is - she was really impressed. She said Monkey1 was "wise beyond her years" and said she was an "old soul". I have always felt the same way about my oldest child, and I actually cried for the first and only time during the session when she said that - my daughter *is* such a special kid and she deserves a lot better than this.
It was a very helpful session though, and I couldn't have been happier with the therapist. She told me she was amazed at how strong I was and that the kids would learn that strength from me and that it would be me from whom they took their cues. She said she thought they were doing amazingly well under the circumstances and that it was because of me and the way I was handling it that they were doing so great. That felt so good to hear, I have been so afraid of failing them recently.
A friend of mine paid a cleaning company to come today and clean my home - what a blessing! Isn't that amazing? I feel better now just not being so mired down in the mess, you know? I physically feel less stressed out because I had gotten so behind on the house work. I'm still behind on laundry, but now I feel like I can manage to catch that up. :)
AND - most amazing of all - tonight went GREAT! We had a nice bedtime. Everyone was asleep by 7:30! I did cheat and buy a pizza on our way home from the therapy session, but still - bedtime went so much better.
Nobody can tell me that God doesn't answer prayers - He answered these all so generously today!
I realized today that I am content - I am happy even. This is not what I wanted for my life, this is not what I would have chosen, but I am happy to be here with these precious little monkeys, and I trust in Jesus to get us through this just like He always has done through our whole lives.
Our bible story tonight was the story of Abraham and Sara, and I was reading it and thinking about how Sara *laughed* when the Lord told her she would have a son. She didn't believe Him. In much the same way, it is hard to see right now where the Lord is taking us and how He will bring good of all this pain, but I know that He will. Unlike Sara, I do take Him at His word.
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A mom in our homeschool group was in the same sort of situation as you years ago. Her children have all grown up to be AMAZING. Her youngest is about 14 and is a sweet, innocent girl. I remember about 5 years ago we were in a little flowers group and we asked the girls do they have anything special to pray for and she said, "pray for my dad". I found out later that they always prayed for him even though he left them high and dry, without air conditioning, for another woman and another life. The mom continued to homeschool her 5 kids all these years and still finds time to volunteer, work, etc.. I thing it makes a difference that she has a huge devotion to Mary and that she kept her children in the faith. I could bash her idiot hubs up and down, but the fact is, she didn't. She chose instead to urge her children to pray for him and that brought peace to her household (though it was NOT easy). I think of her when I read your posts and wonder what she did when that first happened to her. I just don't think she dwells on it too much anymore. He is married to the other woman and has a child/children with her. I can't imagine why he is not ashamed of leaving his wife and children, but I guess it's because he really was NUTS so actually does need prayers. Anyway, I hope this offers you some measure of hope for this crazy situation. I am praying for you, your kids, and your husband. I am so happy you have support in your area and happy you had a better day!
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